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18 Year Old Daughter Help

Adviseformy18yearold

I am wondering if anyone can help - I am unsure if going to the waiting lists at the GP are worth it and what additional help my daughter would get if diagnosed.

My daughter has always been the quiet one, I people watcher.  We have always had a routine of childminder / school, whilst i was at work and after school / work football/swimming/boxing.  If football got cancelled we would have tears/tantrums etc, which seemed a bit over the top at the time.

When we went into lockdown (which i think was particularly hard for a lot of people) she would sit on top of the shed on her own, couldn't concentrate when we would try and do the online lessons, unless I set up a PE session in the garden she wouldn't engage in much.

When we tried to go back to school we would have issues with her stomach, and needing a toilet pass, which i thought was a bit of anxiety due to being back around people.

She couldn't concentrate in her exams and needed to leave the room for the toilet, she started college resat her maths in a smaller group and luckily just passed.

She started a joinery apprenticeship, loved the hands on college side but struggled to interact with the people working there, I don't think she understood their humour and couldn't interact properly, she also thought some didn't like her.

She is now playing at a football college and again, struggling with interacting with the teachers and staff, also her football manager, there have been a few issues, she seems to react to the way her may look at her or his tone and takes everything as a personal attack.

She has been making funny noises, maybe a nervous tick, she can go from being completely quiet in front of people, to screaming and shouting noises and funny accents, when we get home she goes loud and excited, toy fighting, jumping out on me and running off, its like she's held in all this energy and just explodes! 

She is obsessive about clean bedding.... but not the tidiness of her room so it surely cant be a form of OCD?

I have tried so many different ways to approach it, telling her to try harder to concentrate and get her work done when she was at school, her stomach issues are not food related, its like her stomach reacts to how she is feeling that day.

I have come here for help and given you a snippet of my daughters behaviour, as a parent off my daughters football team came up to me on Sunday and asked if she has a form of Autism, does an of the above ring true to this?

I don't want to waste anyone's time but also, if I can get any help to settle her I would be forever grateful, its like she's a lot soul at the minute and she's 18, 19 in July.

Thanks

Parents

  • I am not being judgemental, but I am a bit concerned: that your post doesn't seem to mention what your daughter thinks / feels about her situation. 

    I also cannot tell if you have broached with her this ultra-sensitive subject - whether or not to discuss with her GP the possibility of exploring eligibility for a Neurodivergent assessment (we are not qualified to assume Autism).

    If you and your daughter have engaged in that difficult initial conversation (better still: if she has expressed her qualms to you first) then you might find this guidance thought-provoking / helpful:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis/deciding-whether-to-seek-an-autism-assessment

    Whatever your daughter were to decide would best suit her personal situation (would she wish to discuss the topic at all with her GP?); irrespective of her decision (now, or in the future): I would like to think of her finding ways to help herself to learn more about what she enjoys and then pursuing those things which she also finds more relaxing would be something she might learn to prioritise.

    Ultimately, I fear this is rather too public a space to explore things in greater detail at this stage - that is absolutely not to discourage you from participating here - quite the opposite - as you are welcome. 

    However, it would be easier to be more supportive of you both - if your daughter had already participated in a conversation with her GP (if, and when, she might choose to do so) and we were able to try and help beyond that stage - respectful of what she decides might be the helpful outcome to support her lifestyle and ambitions.

    Best wishes.

  • in reply to DormouseAtRest_25

    Thanks for the reply, thanks for the link I will read though and I think its best if she contacts the GP, I just wasn't sure if any of her behaviour was what you would expect, I just just tried to put a few examples.

    I searched on google and this site came up, I asked on here because I saw other people posting on here.

    Thanks

  • in reply to Adviseformy18yearold

    No problem - there is a lot of information to weigh up.

    This is another set of information which might help her preparation if she decides to have a conversation with her GP:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/diagnosis/before-diagnosis/signs-that-a-child-or-adult-may-be-autistic

    (Hope that is helpful - as opposed to information overload).

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