My mum, whom is also autistic, couldn’t cope with the change and seems to be in a constant state of shutdown. She stays in her room nearly all the time, never leaves the house, and she hardly ever speaks. My mum was close to my nan, really close to her. I imagine she was as close to my nan as I used to be with my mum. I used to be so close to my mum, she was my favourite person and we had so many laughs and so much fun every day. But after my nan passed on my mum pushed me away. I’m still as close to her but she doesn’t return the feelings.
It’s made me quite thoughtful on death and how it affects autistic people. Some I’ve read about online don’t get affected that much, others feel it strongly but still function, and there are some poor people who get so affected they have been sent to mental health units to be ‘cared’ for. I realized that if it weren’t for me, and my brothers, taking care of mum then she would likely be sent to a mental health unit as there’s no way she could care for herself. If meals weren’t prepared for her, and she wasn’t reminded to eat and drink, I don’t think she would do either.
The scariest thought though is what I’ll be like when my mum is gone. I wonder if I’ll go the same way, my body physically active, but there’s no one there, just an empty shell walking about. I still spend a lot of time with my mum, and I still feel close to her even if it isn’t returned to me.
My mum isn’t ill mentally, she’s autistic and she suffered a huge loss. Everyone medical my family and I have spoken to want to treat her, we’re going to get her grief counselling though in the hopes it can help her process her grief.
An autism specialist would be good but I can’t find any autism related help anywhere and I’ve done a lot of searching!
If anyone here has been through this, any advice on the matter would be appreciated.
Thanks!
-Nova.
