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New to site

Graham W

Thought I'd pop in and say hi,

myself and my partner now care for my 9 year old son, after social services removed him

from the care of my ex wife.

we have been seperated the last 3 years, and up to that point I had a lot of involvment

with his aspergers.

Rhys is statemented and also under a section 20 with camsH.

Rhys also attends a specialist school, part time boarding and home holidays and weekends.

his mother never let me get very involved since the split, despite trying and wanting him to live with us last year.

so looking forward to the future and helping Rhys through his next steps.

  • You sound like you are very proactive in ensuring his environment suits his needs.

    Social services are very poor in communication fullstop in my experience! Foot in Mouth

  • Thank you for your reply.

    no, as far I'm aware I'm not on the spectrum and especially with my profession working 999 shifts I do cope with changes and sudden changes to the day, things Rhys cannot do.

    Many people have pointed the finger at his mum, but feel it's unfair for me to comment lol.

    Rhys shows great violence to his younger sister, and recently a child in the street.

    His mum has always allowed, xbox games, guns and what I feel inappropriate games to maybe fuel situations. Here although I don't personally find games an issue, WE here as adults know the difference between a game and real violence. So in his new surroundings we are going to keep things calm and interactive.

    Rhys loves to take things apart, so I've collected CD players and radios he can play with, and bought him a multimeter today so he can 'test' things.

    I have been involved as much as I can with him despite the break up, and always researched and asked questions when I need to.

    social services etc are very poor in communications when it comes to discussing Rhys's needs, I do find that!!

  • That's interesting.  As ASC is often genetic and you didn't say you were on the spectrum, I just wondered.  Although, as you say there are lots of people at your ex's, often people with autism would find that really stressful so that makes me wonder, although I guess the many visitors could be due to her new family and not her.  Sometimes people with autism can get into difficult situations from not knowing how to deal with them.

    Sometimes, parenting is very challenging for people with autism, as well as relationships, so I just wondered whether she might be on the spectrum (although it could of course just as easily have been all sorts of other reasons too) as marriages often break-up (I think the divorce rate is as high as 80%) when one partner is on the spectrum.

    It's a shame that services don't offer the right support to help families work through their issues, whether it's relationship or parenting problems.

    I hope things work out well for you and your son goes from strength to strength.

  • Not had any spam, so that's good....

    im not aware of her being on the spectrum, but just recently professionally it has been mentioned. Rhys is very calm with us 95% but does struggle with his mum and her new family. He likes a calm setting and lots of interaction, to many people at his mums for that. 

  • Welcome to the site.  Unfortunately there is a lot of spam attacking going on as you can see but as soon as the moderators access it will be removed.

    Just out of interest, is your ex-wife on the autistic spectrum herself?