Loneliness & emotions

So as an autistic person I love time alone being absorbed in special interests and reading and just being quiet sometimes as work can be pretty full on and tiring and I often feel I am externally quiet yet internally my brain is wired.

Other times I feel quite lonely and distant from my family and I'm not sure if it's something I am doing or if it's just the way an autistic person can feel. I find it hard to explain this because the feelings I have can be very intense. I sometimes think I'm not really sure what the rules are with relationships because I feel like I try really hard to get things right yet end up feeling like I've upset someone. 

I seem to think about everything very deeply & worry that my way of being is difficult for people to be around even though I try really hard to fit in and be what is needed. I worry that I come across as disinterested or not caring yet the opposite is true as I love my family very much.

Parents
  • I sometimes think I'm not really sure what the rules are with relationships

    This books should explain these to you:

    The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships - Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism - Temple Grandin, Sean Barron (2005)
    ISBN: 9781941765388

    Puting the rules into practice is a different matter however as from my experiences here many autists seem to struggle to apply the information learned., if they even stay the course to learn them.

    From my perspective, knowledge = power so I educated myself and have been able to put it to good use through the years and avoided most of the usual social and personal relationship mistakes, although at the cost of not always being as authentic as I would perhaps like to be.

    However since for autistic adults we make up only 1% of the population in our age group I think it is unlikely that the other 99% will bother to learn to accept me so I chose to bend to their rules in order to fit into their world.

    You would need to find a balance that works for you if you choose this route however.

  • Thank you for the book recommendation. This looks very interesting & I have read Some of Temple Grandins other work so thank you for sharing this.

Reply
  • Thank you for the book recommendation. This looks very interesting & I have read Some of Temple Grandins other work so thank you for sharing this.

Children
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