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Loneliness & emotions

Marmaladepink

So as an autistic person I love time alone being absorbed in special interests and reading and just being quiet sometimes as work can be pretty full on and tiring and I often feel I am externally quiet yet internally my brain is wired.

Other times I feel quite lonely and distant from my family and I'm not sure if it's something I am doing or if it's just the way an autistic person can feel. I find it hard to explain this because the feelings I have can be very intense. I sometimes think I'm not really sure what the rules are with relationships because I feel like I try really hard to get things right yet end up feeling like I've upset someone. 

I seem to think about everything very deeply & worry that my way of being is difficult for people to be around even though I try really hard to fit in and be what is needed. I worry that I come across as disinterested or not caring yet the opposite is true as I love my family very much.

Parents

  • I've also had that dichotomy of valuing and benefiting from time alone, but at the exact same time missing social interaction. It's weird and frustrating and if you find a good solution to "wanting to be left alone while at the same time missing people" please tell me.

    I find online connections are sometimes a good compromise because there isn't the expectation for immediate responses, but you're still interacting.

    I noticed you say you end up "feeling like" you've upset someone and worry about how you come across. Not that you definitely do upset people or that they actually think you come across disinterested or not caring. Maybe they're not upset and don't think you come across like that? Could you be worrying unnecessarily?

    I still worry occasionally that I might have upset my partner. If I do, then I just ask if I have. I know he will tell me the truth because that's how he is. Most of the time I haven't upset him. The rare occasions I have then we talk about it and sort it out.

    Don't know if that would work for everyone, but establishing clear expectations for communication works for us.

  • in reply to Tears_before_bedtime

    Thank you so much for your response. What you express about time alone yet missing social interaction is so accurate.. I really appreciate you sharing your experience in this regard. 

    Thank you for the  good advice on clear communication too. Definitely a work in progress!

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