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Hello from late diagnosed - high functioning but struggling

AuADHDwoman

Hi all, 

I was late diagnosed (age 40) ADHD 15 months ago and have just received an Autism diagnosis. I think I knew it already. 

Sadly, I got my Autism diagnosis while a MH inpatient. The past 7 months, due to a lot of life pressures at once, I've experienced meltdowns as never before, which have escalated into self harm and breaking things. I suspect my hormones have also started to change. 

I feel like I'll never get back into my normal life again. 

I've gone from being a uni lecturer and having my own business to currently being signed off work and starting to claim benefits. It makes me wonder if there's a route out. 

It feels scary knowing that overwhelm can tip me over into behaviours that a year ago would have felt completely alien to me.

I'm trying to learn about tools that help me calm and to pace myself more. It's tricky though, as I have a whole adult life set up that I need to be with. 

Has anyone else been in this kind of situation? 

Thanks so much  

Parents

  • I think my situation  is similar...

    I was doing a demanding and stressful job. Probably best described as "middle management" level, but with a definite technical specialisation as well as managing people. 

    I had an occupational/autistic burnout scenario building for over a year. It was getting unsustainable, and spiralling downwards fast.

    My brain stepped in by driving me into a manic episode in September. I avoided hospital by seeing the Crisis/Home Treatment team. They also recommended an autism assessment.

    Got that done privately so am now diagnosed autistic as well as bipolar and burnout. 

    I'm still signed off work after 6 months. I have irritating cognitive impairments like losing words, stumbling in my speech, seriously enhanced sensory issues, lack of concentration, poor verbal processing and memory etc. Much worse than anything I've had before (except during psychosis I suppose).  Unsure whether it's mostly burnout, mania or autism related, but it feels like I'm recovering from a brain injury. 

    I think things are improving, but mostly they get better when I have no complex tasks or stressful situations to deal with. Then I have to deal with doctors, insurance, HR meetings etc and it all gets worse again. 

    I'm optimistic that I'll get to the other side of this. I may not be the same as I was before, but I'll find a way. In the interim I'm trying to focus on here and now rather than what the future may end up to be. 

    Good luck with your recovery. 

Reply

  • I think my situation  is similar...

    I was doing a demanding and stressful job. Probably best described as "middle management" level, but with a definite technical specialisation as well as managing people. 

    I had an occupational/autistic burnout scenario building for over a year. It was getting unsustainable, and spiralling downwards fast.

    My brain stepped in by driving me into a manic episode in September. I avoided hospital by seeing the Crisis/Home Treatment team. They also recommended an autism assessment.

    Got that done privately so am now diagnosed autistic as well as bipolar and burnout. 

    I'm still signed off work after 6 months. I have irritating cognitive impairments like losing words, stumbling in my speech, seriously enhanced sensory issues, lack of concentration, poor verbal processing and memory etc. Much worse than anything I've had before (except during psychosis I suppose).  Unsure whether it's mostly burnout, mania or autism related, but it feels like I'm recovering from a brain injury. 

    I think things are improving, but mostly they get better when I have no complex tasks or stressful situations to deal with. Then I have to deal with doctors, insurance, HR meetings etc and it all gets worse again. 

    I'm optimistic that I'll get to the other side of this. I may not be the same as I was before, but I'll find a way. In the interim I'm trying to focus on here and now rather than what the future may end up to be. 

    Good luck with your recovery. 

Children