Newly diagnosed adult

Hi Arlia Welcome to the forum. I hope you are gentle with yourself as you process your diagnosis. I’m 63 and received a diagnosis last month. Like you I have suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood. I was delighted to receive my diagnosis as it took away much of the self blame for difficulties functioning in daily life. I feel quite alone too but I am hoping to get referred to counselling soon and maybe that will put things in perspective. There are many people here who have had similar feelings to you, so onwards and upwards as an autistic person.

Take your time with processing your diagnosis. Some people describe this light bulb moment where their life suddenly made sense and they could finally accept themselves.

In reality, I don't think many people experience that. Personally, I became super aware of my difficulties which just seemed to make them more difficult. I didn't know how much of me was real and how much was masked and I still don't think I know the answer 5 years later. It can be a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions after a diagnosis so take care of yourself.

You're not alone. Many people in this forum talk of that feeling and I think it's a difficult feeling to "fix". Hopefully this forum makes you feel a little better.

Hi and welcome to the forum, I hope you find it supportive.

Hi Arlia, and welcome to the community!

During the period following a diagnosis, it can be common for us - especially as late-diagnosed adults - to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides feeling relief about getting our diagnosis, this can also include working through a phase where we experience (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving and more. So please don't worry if you find this happening - it's normal! 

The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis

NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

In terms of what to do next, my advice at this point (ie soon after your diagnosis) would be to try and give yourself some time and breathing space to process and absorb everything that you've been through, and let your feelings settle down.

For me, as for many others here, my diagnosis turned out to be much more of the start of a new journey, rather than a conclusion full of ready-made solutions for my various difficulties.  

Therapy is often recommended after a diagnosis as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. You might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

I've also found being a part of this community helpful; hopefully, you will too. Welcome again! :)