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achievement

AJK

I managed to go out tonight with my sister, I find it very hard to mix with people, but I did it. I went to a WI meeting where we played cards, it was a great evening, even though I suffered sensory over load I still had a good time, I wish I could go out more but don't like going to new places by myself. How can I overcome this? and how to cope with meeting new people? I really struggle to keep friends and so get lonely.

  • That’s absolutely great! I think you’re already on the completely right path. Put yourself out there, maybe on a set day depending on your energy levels (maybe once a week, maybe once a month?). Scheduling days to go out might help you with preparing for it. Also try to accommodate yourself. If you’re overstimulated; wear headphones, put on sunglasses, don’t suppress stims; whatever helps you.

    I’m no expert and haven’t really figured out for myself yet but maintaining friends with shared interests and similar communication style is the easiest kind of friendship. Preparing and wearing noise cancelling or at least sound filtering headphones helps me. What are your biggest struggles while being out? And how could you or others help with that?

  • Well done and glad to hear that you enjoyed it. Maybe you could go to other WI meetings? It might be easier to develop a friendship with someone you have met before. If you do go to a few meetings and find that you can talk with someone there ok, you could then suggest meeting them another time. If you both have a shared interest such as going to the gym or wanting to start art classes you could arrange to go together, otherwise you could just suggest going for a coffee.

  • I attend something similar, where I can meet new people, chat, and enjoy some refreshments. There's a program of meetings and not mandatory. You pick and choose which ones.

    Unfortunately they changed the day session on Tuesday and evening session on Monday (6pm is awkward); looking more for the afternoon sessions. Also makes you realise that you don't need soical media apps (I only use Facebook);to spy on you. 

    I started going because I used to volunteer at the local library, but during the COVID-19 outbreak in 2020, all volunteers were suspended from running the building. Now, they’re allowing only one volunteer per session, which has changed the dynamics. It’s been nice to reconnect with others in this way.

    Still getting people asking me have I got a job? Then I shown them the upcoming meetings program. That's why I carry a spare copy. Really annoying. Few days later, they ask me again and repeat the cycle. Anyone can turn up.

    Well done for making the first step. 

  • Well done for going out. Like you, I find it easier to go places with someone. I also find it easier if there is something planned like your experience of playing cards. If you can find a group that meets regularly doing things you enjoy this might make it easier. 

  • Well done for going out in the first place.

    Sorry I can't help with the second part as I have very few friends and find it hard to socialise