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Seeking guidance

Silver_surfer23.

Hi I'm the partner of 30+ years for an adult I suspect has high functioning autism and intermittently Explosive Disorder.

Whist I have done lots of reading and tried to tactfully broach the subject on many occasions there is outright denial and refusal to seek any type of support.

I am struggling and sad- it is exhausting and at times frightening to live with.

I try to support and want to support but live my life on eggshells I feel he would be so much happier if he had support and realised it is not 'him' but something bigger than him/ out of his control.

Any pointers or guidance??

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  • I had a friend who used to explode like this at the drop of a hat, especially when driving. I came to see it as him being deeply insecure about his place in the world and that he wasn't anywhere near as clever or as good as he thought he was. In the end I refused to get in a car with him because I was trapped with his temper tantrums and they made him dangerous. Other times I'd just refuse to engage with him and walk away, basically I treated him as I would a toddler having the terrible two's, other people challenged him too and he did stop, but I don't think it went further than skin deep, I stopped being around him completely not long after, I just refused to have to cope with it all. It's hard but sometimes I think the only thing you can do is walk away, they need to know that thier behaviour is totally unacceptable. To be honest, I'm not sure that it's a disorder in itself, rather than  a massive fit of pique that the world won't conform to how they think it should be, I think it's more like a missed developmental stage where they were never challenged properly when they were toddlers and they've learnt to keep having tantrums because it works, it keeps everyone around them walking on eggshells and pandering to thier temper, I think it makes them worse.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I can relate o what you say there and it is definately how I have responded on many occasions but I think they are definately other signs of autism/ aspergers which may or may not have contributory factors ?

  • in reply to Silver_surfer23.

    Maybe there are, I don't know, but to me it seems that he needs to get a grip on his temper before anything else can happen.

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