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Help looking for some advice - school avoidance

Jamborie

Hi,

I have a teenage daughter who was diagnosed with autism earlier this year. Her main difficulty is attending school. Although she says she wants to go to school, when it comes to it she just becomes so anxious that she can't do it. It happens most days, with the response being 'go away mum,' pulling the covers over her head and staying in bed. I find it really difficult to know what is part of her autism and what is 'typical teenage behaviour'?? 

I have read the information on demand avoidance but I've got to say that reducing demands on someone to attend school is extremely difficult. It suggests indirect communication but can anyone give me an example of this when trying to get a child into school?

Does anyone have any advice about what has worked for them/their children?

Thank you    

Parents

  • Maybe there's a difference between wanting an education and wanting to go to school? I don't have any advice except for listening to her and talking with the school and between you trying to find out why her anxiety spikes at the thought of school?

     I was a school refuser and missed most of my secondary education, some of it was due to undiagnosed ASC and learning difficulties some was due to bullying. But I always hated school, right from my first day in reception class. THe idea of school still gives me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach nearly 50 years later, but I went to uni as an adult, got a good degree in a proper acamdemic subject and loved it.

    Maybe your daughter needs a different learning environment than school? Schools seem to exist to bash square pegs into round holes and some of us are more resistant to being bashed than others, we remain square pegs, even if we're bruised and bloodied.

Reply

  • Maybe there's a difference between wanting an education and wanting to go to school? I don't have any advice except for listening to her and talking with the school and between you trying to find out why her anxiety spikes at the thought of school?

     I was a school refuser and missed most of my secondary education, some of it was due to undiagnosed ASC and learning difficulties some was due to bullying. But I always hated school, right from my first day in reception class. THe idea of school still gives me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach nearly 50 years later, but I went to uni as an adult, got a good degree in a proper acamdemic subject and loved it.

    Maybe your daughter needs a different learning environment than school? Schools seem to exist to bash square pegs into round holes and some of us are more resistant to being bashed than others, we remain square pegs, even if we're bruised and bloodied.

Children
  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    Thank you for your advice it’s really helpful. Getting it from someone who has lived through it and experienced it first hand and hearing that it hasn’t stopped you later in life is really reassuring. We have had extensive conversations with my daughter and school have been heavily involved. She doesn’t seem to know why and I think that itself makes it more difficult for her and for us to help her. We have just had another meeting with school and are going to try something else starting next week where she can go in about bit earlier and meet her key worker without anyone else being there and she can do a reduced week too. I am just hoping this works and gets her in more, not necessarily for the education but more for her socialisation and coping skills to set her up for later life.