HI! 50 yr old man. Off the charts ASD. My new life...

Hi everyone!!

I am Brad. A 50 year old man who came from nothing, did well, lost it all, alcohol the prescription meds, brain lesions, over a dozen heart attacks, coded twice and I just signed papers on my 3rd divorce. I have had an adventurous life which, and I know a lot of people think this, but it would make an awesome Forrest Gump style movie, actually a couple of them. But that's not why I am here.

I have been married a little over a year this time and we were only together a month or so before marrying. Before you say anything, it was and is love, we just argue. The marriage, arguing and divorce forced some time apart and I went for a month long train trip. Oh and I have an IQ of about 125-130. Oh I used to take all of my toys apart to see how they worked and I don't and have never really had friends. (Any of this starting to add up?)

I have taken all of the assessments online and each one a number of times and am WAY off the charts on everything. I know a lot of people don't trust them but when you take that many from different places and your score is that high and you know you are way different then there's something there It is scary honestly how I am able to mask this much.

There's a TON more but suddenly after 13 years of trying to figure out the brain lesions my entire life started coming into focus like putting on glasses for the first time and realizing you are supposed to see the leaves more clearly. Then suddenly it was like there was a shift in the matrix and my entire life seemed like it wasn't me. Everything started to make sense but at the same time nothing made sense. I feel like a completely different person constantly right now. I am not quite sure who I really am.

On top of it my mother just had open heart surgery two weeks ago, my father has parkinsons, my 3 boys who are in their 20's are clearly on the spectrum. I have also taken the PTSD, anxiety, etc, etc, and am off the charts. Oh and my ex just got a restraining order all based on lies (I would gladly take a lie detector) but I told the just I would rather take the restraining order than to ever say something bad about her, especially in public.

Yes I am stressed LOL

So HELLO!!!!!! I hope I am not too much for you guys!!!

  • Hello bradandreth,

    Welcome to the community! We hope you find help, support and enjoy exploring the forum and community. 

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  • Please don’t misunderstand. That’s not what I said or meant, and I’m very sorry that I upset you. I’m just trying to be helpful. All you need to do is to amend your profile name and pic to something that doesn’t identify you. :)

  • Thanks. I won't visit this site or post anymore. Thank you..

  • Hi and welcome to the community.

    Just a quick word of advice before the moderators reach out to you. :)

    The rules here don’t allow us to be identifiable, including from using our real names as our profile names, and/or using or otherwise posting pictures of ourselves. 

  • Hello and welcome.

    Phew, you have had a busy life and it sounds like it's still pretty full on! No wonder you're not quite sure who you really are, I'm surprised you have time to think about it! Blush

    We are used to people posting on here in various states of worry, distress, curiosity and loneliness and other people try to help, so don't be concerned that you are too much for us. Feel free to write how you are feeling as much as is comfortable for you, and ask.questions if you need information.

  • That does indeed sound a bit adventurous. You’re not too much and it’s good to have you here. I’m looking forward to your contributions to the discussions/conversations on here!