Lonely and ready for friends

Hi Becca, I remember quite clearly having a very autistic conversation with someone while at primary school insisting that even though I was a boy, I was exactly the same as a girl in terms of conversation and I didn't know why boys and girls made such a big deal about talking to someone with a different gender.

But many years later following diagnosis - I'm still unsure about why this is the case, however I am schooled enough in the lives of humans that many do still hold this view.

If you wanted to speak to me, I am ALWYS very happy to chat and help where I can.

I live in a super dull, super boring part of Northern England and would LOVE to be able to wander the streets of London just taking stuff in.  

Do you feel lucky or is this just what life is?

Perhaps you can challenge some of my assumptions here, but I would have thought that having access to London would mean you'd be able to take advantage of a wealth of social groups or facilities for autistic people?

Is there many social groups etc for Autistic people?

Hi, thanks for replying. I constantly feel very lucky to live in London, but don’t take advantage of it as much as i’d like. Surprisingly there aren’t as many groups of facilities as you’d expect, but i have gone to one tiny group with two other autistic girls set up by my local autism service. It was a good thing to do but didn’t really help me, and that is all i have been able to access. My mum and i have done lots of research over the last few years, not just for autistic people, but also for homeschooled teens and more, and there is nothing. It’s such a shame. But i know im luckier than those living in smaller areas. 

How old are you if you don’t mind me asking? Have you ever been able to find groups or alike?

I'm 46, I feel almost ashamed saying it (is that silly?), I think I make the assumption that a younger person wouldn't want to talk to someone old as they would feel they have nothing in common.

Which makes sense in some parts.  However, my 14 year old daughter is probably one of my best friends - so maybe that makes me cool, I'm hip.

"I'm Hip" - Dr. Evil

I can't say that without thinking of Dr Evil.

Anyway, no.  I couldn't find anything.  There is a really cool place just north of my county in North Lincolnshire called Matthews Hub (in Hull) which is an amazing place for all people with Autism.  But nothing south of the humber.  But one thing we do have is a really cool Community Cafe.

I love the place, it smells of Coffee, they do open mics, Breast Feeding clinics, offer work placements for U18s (80% of them NeuroD) and everything a group of lovely people would do.  I thought I'd ask if they'd consider doing a night for Autistic people just to get together and chat, and they said yes and were amazing.

We meet the last Thursday of each month.  It's been going about 8 months. We don't DO anything.  Not everyone goes each week, nothing major ever happens, I don't think any of us think any of us a "best friends" or anything - but I think it's nice just to be in a room with people who oscillate on the same frequency if you know what I mean?

I'm 46, I feel almost ashamed saying it (is that silly?), I think I make the assumption that a younger person wouldn't want to talk to someone old as they would feel they have nothing in common.

Which makes sense in some parts.  However, my 14 year old daughter is probably one of my best friends - so maybe that makes me cool, I'm hip.

"I'm Hip" - Dr. Evil

I can't say that without thinking of Dr Evil.

Anyway, no.  I couldn't find anything.  There is a really cool place just north of my county in North Lincolnshire called Matthews Hub (in Hull) which is an amazing place for all people with Autism.  But nothing south of the humber.  But one thing we do have is a really cool Community Cafe.

I love the place, it smells of Coffee, they do open mics, Breast Feeding clinics, offer work placements for U18s (80% of them NeuroD) and everything a group of lovely people would do.  I thought I'd ask if they'd consider doing a night for Autistic people just to get together and chat, and they said yes and were amazing.

We meet the last Thursday of each month.  It's been going about 8 months. We don't DO anything.  Not everyone goes each week, nothing major ever happens, I don't think any of us think any of us a "best friends" or anything - but I think it's nice just to be in a room with people who oscillate on the same frequency if you know what I mean?

No don’t feel ashamed at all. My parents are like my best friends too, only friends, that sounds sad, and it is but it’s just what it is at the moment.

I find the word ‘hip’ so funny cos i said it without thinking to my sister, after spending too much time with my mum, and every time we hear the word she makes fun of me for using it one time. There’s no reason for that though, its a fine word, just not something we would usually say.

And Dr Evil is very funny, if one million is ever mentioned my dad does the ‘one million dollars’ bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aUL4OOhQ50

It’s such a shame that there isn’t anything for any age! But the Matthews Hub and community cafe sound great!

I think in many ways living in a smaller, more friendly community is better than living in London for things like this. Despite there being far more people, everyone keeps to themselves and there aren’t really places like this.