I’m exhausted. I’ve realised I have somehow navigated life without too much masking. I only recentury realised that modifying your behaviour to fit social norms was something you could do— if I masked it was unknowingly, but generally I just went along with it being normal that I was a weirdo who didn’t know the rules.
But now, suddenly I find myself having to mask on two fronts. Both professionally and at home. I’m in a neurodiverse unsafe environment at work where I feel I have to crouch down and be small and quiet….. and, in response to my partners unmasking, and asserting his needs following a diagnosis, increasingly I have to do the same at home. All my ways of processing when I’m happy- loud music, songs on repeat , singing, blurting out stuff, interrupting and generally being blissfully unaware—I’m increasingly finding I feel like my wings are clipped .
my husband is becoming more aware of his needs following a diagnosis, and I feel more and more over the years I have to tiptoe around him. It feels like His needs are so much bigger than mine, it’s like there is no room for me. I really don’t know what to do, but it’s making me very unhappy.
