Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all
I’m Catherine, a recently diagnosed high functioning autistic in the UK.
Sought private diagnosis aged forty two after a sustained period of burnout having always been a bit “other”. I most definitely heavily mask as a senior public facing healthcare professional, trained to put others’ wellbeing at the forefront of my mind.
I’ve just started a new job and wonder if anyone has any experience in how to navigate being autistic and unmasking? I’m an expert in “fitting in” but am desperate not to repeat previous patterns (which ultimately leads to stress, burnout and changing jobs). I have considered whether this career is suitable longer term but there are many aspects I love and a move isn’t an option immediately. As a highly logical female I’m often perceived as brash, a smartarse or insensitive and ideally would like to be more authentic opposed to hiding my intelligence and directness. Does anyone have experience with similar? I absolutely don’t wish to offend anyone but result in losing myself in a bid to please others!
Appreciate any comments or sharing of experiences particularly in relation to managing professional lives.
Catherine
Hi Catherine and welcome.
Before I realised I was on the spectrum, I thought I could read people and communicate with them ok - even though I often struggled to maintain friendships and there were sometimes misunderstandings. I had to learn to not assume that I knew what people meant or thought, I began to check with them, or ask a trusted colleague if I was reading someone correctly. I also tried to stop people pleasing, while staying polite.
I was prepared for this approach to lower my ability to make friends or gain respect from others (as I had to protect myself for my own health) but I found the opposite - once I became more "authentic", colleagues seemed more friendly and respectful.
I also found a book that explains how NT minds work was useful - it's called "A field guide to Earthlings" by Ian Ford.