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Newbie to the forum saying hello - struggling in life.

NAS96251

Hi everyone

It's taken me so long to join one of these threads and reach the community. I'm 55, so as I was first diagnosed as a child aged five, it's taken me a while. 

I have 'existed' through life by masking. Following the loss of my parents three years ago, I decided to talk about my autism; this was difficult and achieved mixed results, with some family members and friends now cutting ties with me. I have no idea why, other than them saying, 'They didn't know me anymore'. This has added confusion and a decline in my mental health.

By the way, this is not a 'pity me' thread. Far from it. I am resolute on 'being me', with or without family and friends who have shown their true colours as far as I am concerned.

I am reaching out to ask for advice as I live in a rural community and haven't been able to find resources for adults. There is a support group but only for children and carers.

Now I have unmasked, I find myself questioning who I am...I know who I am; I'm me, but I feel that unmasking has highlighted just how 'different' I am to others within my life and the wider society. I had not through of myself in this way before.

I have asked for counselling to help me try and make sense of everything. However, the waiting list is currently 24 months long. Therefore, I am turning to the community to see if there are any tips or others who have also felt the same.

I can't explain how I feel, I just feel 'different' after unmasking, perhaps it's because I now have to confront an ableist society who has been ignoring my needs for half a century, who knows, I would love to hear how others have coped with unmasking at an older age.

Thanks, everyone,

Love to you all.

Parents

  • Hi, I've not unmasked yet.  I'm 55 too but only just realized a few months ago after a lifetime of struggling. Although I blew my cover last night and told someone I was Autistic when i was getting a lift home from an folk club. I was a little drunk, I needed a lift cause of the rain, i only live 30 mins walk away but i accepted a lift. the guy was a lecturer in IT so i managed to keep up a conversation with him cause i used to be very qualified in IT.  I used to be over qualified for Jobs but i could never get the jobs cause i used to physically shake with nerves.  Its one of my major regrets in life that i couldn't function properly in life,  i could of done better if i had known i was autistic.  I told him i was Autistic and i struggled with eye contact and interviews, Anyway I will see how they react to me next week,  I sure they all gossip between themselves .  I'm new there , they are still assessing me

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  • Hi, I've not unmasked yet.  I'm 55 too but only just realized a few months ago after a lifetime of struggling. Although I blew my cover last night and told someone I was Autistic when i was getting a lift home from an folk club. I was a little drunk, I needed a lift cause of the rain, i only live 30 mins walk away but i accepted a lift. the guy was a lecturer in IT so i managed to keep up a conversation with him cause i used to be very qualified in IT.  I used to be over qualified for Jobs but i could never get the jobs cause i used to physically shake with nerves.  Its one of my major regrets in life that i couldn't function properly in life,  i could of done better if i had known i was autistic.  I told him i was Autistic and i struggled with eye contact and interviews, Anyway I will see how they react to me next week,  I sure they all gossip between themselves .  I'm new there , they are still assessing me

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