Newly diagnosed at 52 and struggling

If it’s any comfort I think your response is far from unusual. Dealing with long term anxiety, depression and ocd is a lot to deal with - as is processing an autism diagnosis later in life. 
I was diagnosed fairly recently (about two years ago) and I’m in my 50’s. I experienced a lot of different emotions and I think you have to just allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t push the feelings away - accept that they are a part of processing this new perspective that you have on your life. Try not to ruminate too much on the past - you can’t do anything about the past. ‘If only……’ - this is not going to help you. It’s the past, it’s DONE. What matters is now is finding the things that make you feel good right now. Similarly when it comes to thinking about the future it’s best not to focus on that too much either - because you cannot truly know how things will play out for you long term. 
Btw medication never helped my anxiety either - it made it much worse! And I hear this a lot from autistic people. 
The menopause might be a part of your current feelings about everything - a lot of women get diagnosed with autism in their fifties and I think the menopause can push us into dealing with issues we’ve managed for a long time. It can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

What’s helped me most in recent years has been enjoying creative projects - painting, drawing and crafts. Sewing, jewellery making. I get ‘lost’ in these things and it really helps my mental health. Music too massively helps. Also I’ve been studying Buddhism and that’s made a huge difference to me and changed how I look at myself and the world. And I’ve started doing Qigong too. And walking in the countryside is so soothing and helps so much.

Ultimately there is no ‘silver bullet’ - it’s about finding the things that help you to feel happier and enjoy life. Try to let the past go - in fact let lots of things go. For example your GP - I’m sure they were doing their best but they have a lot of patients and a lot of pressure. Getting angry with your GP will not help you at all - so let it go. There’s no point to it. 

Try to be kind to yourself - you’ve been through a lot. It’s important that we show love and kindness to ourselves as well as to others. You’re not ‘wrong’ - try to stop yourself when you start using that internal language that is very destructive. 

please don’t lose hope that things can get better. I’ve been to such dark places with my mental and physical health too - but there really are many things you can do to make life happier and more enjoyable again. Try to focus on the present moment and the small things that give you pleasure. Things like a comforting hot drink or making a delicious meal. Or a warm Bath with nice Bath oils, or fresh sheets on your bed and candlelight. Tiny moments of pleasure and happiness can be found if we look for them. We don’t need to dwell on the past or feel we have to work out the future. Try to enjoy one thing today, and relish it. The conditions for happiness are there but we often don’t really notice them because we are focusing on things that are completely outside of our control. 

You’re not alone - millions of people have felt how you’re feeling now. It’s part of the human condition to struggle - so please don’t judge yourself harshly. Be kind to yourself and things truly can get better. 

thank you for your reply.  I know it'll take time and it is very lonely especially as family will not accept it.  Time I guess. Thank you and take care x

thank you for your reply.  I know it'll take time and it is very lonely especially as family will not accept it.  Time I guess. Thank you and take care x