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A little hello from a newbie

Mum2L&C

Hi All,
 
I'm Em and I am Mum to 2 fabulous boys; L is 12 years old and C is 3 yrs old.

L has recently moved to senior school and they have suggested that he is on the Sprectrum and they need assistance to manage him.

Throughout his school life I have been in and out of school for multiple reasons, we have had CAF's and mental health team assistance but the schools were able to offer lots of assitance and extra help. Sadly Senior's is very different and L is struggling every day to cope and manage his school/home life.

We have just had the Early Year Assesment team refer him to CAMH's but they have said he is on the 'Choice' list and we will be contacted when they can see him as currently they are only seeing those in "immediate and significant risk".

I have no knowledge in this area and am in need of some support as I'm desperate to help my lad any way I can.

We have looked into a private assessment and would find the funds if we thought it beneficial but from what I have read - it seems to be unhelpful to schools.

I'd love to hear any positive experiences with private assessments and any general advice for managing meltdowns and routine changes please.

Many thanks in advance,
Em x

  • Look out for any signs of bullying. Unlike conventional bullying, with autistic spectrum this is most likely to manifest as many other kids taking advantage of or making fun of the disability.

    This can happen moving from one school to another. In moving to senior school the new starters will tend to be scrutinised by children in the years above - all about alliances and pecking order.

    Also his peers from primary may have been telling everyone in the new school environment about his difficulties. Having maybe struggled with but got used to the way his peers behaved in junior school, now the scale of attention has got a whole lot bigger.

    Also senior school will expect him to adapt to being more independent, which actually means more happening out of sight of teachers, where he is going to be so much more reliant on peer support. His peers that moved up with him will learn collectively through social interaction new "rules" and stratagems he probably wont be able to find out much about.

    Most children on the autistic spectrum get bullied, mostly in the form of their peers taking advantage of their literary interpretation of things and potential gullibility, and also being entertained by the potential to meltdown or behave oddly under stress.

    He'll be incredibly overwhelmed in his new surroundings and that's when a lot of harm can be done. Being isolated and made fun of by your peers, however mild it looks to outside observers, when you've no alliances or supporters, is extremely demoralising and has long term impact.

    Plenty of parents on here can wittness to the ineffectiveness of teachers in identifying such problems.

    Don't wait until he becomes an "immediate and significant risk". You need to get some insight into what is happening right now.

  • There are many posts on this forum regarding issues with the transition to secondary school, predominately mainstream, so suggest you have a look around.

    I have two sons with ASC in mainstream ed, both have statements, which has helped somewhat.

    My primary advice to you is to get as much "professional" assessments / reports as you can, including private if that option is open to you.  The more evidence that you can provide that supports your case the better.

    In the interim there is no harm in approaching your childs secondary school and offering some suggestions that may make his school life happier.   My sons are given quiet spaces in which to go if they feel anxious, allowed to leave lessons 5 mins earlier to avoid the stampede and allowed to eat their lunch in a private room.  These concessions are also available to other students, so see if this can be done for your child,  if appropriate. You never know.

    Good luck.

  • Hello there I would put a thread on mumsnet under special needs you would be amazed how many experienced parents and professionals there are out there who would be willing to respond to your query.  Of course this forum may well provide you with useful insight too.  I am new to this forum as I am autistic so it is not directly about my son that I am registered as such.

    In addition if you call Family Lives you can get their number online it is a freephone number from a landline and they may well give you some pointers.

    I hope these two suggestions help in some small way.  Best of luck!