Feel like your faking or no longer in control of your own life

Hi 

I was late diagnosed with ASD after my son was diagnosed and my dad when reading the papers remarked it was like he was reading about me 

since then a few things have really rattled me 

one 

I seem to no longer be able to function in situations I could before for instance I find crowds to much to the point I’ve stoped going to football and wrestling yes before I was anxious but I seem to of lost my ability to cope with it

secondly my wife says she thinks due to my past experiences with the diagnosis process with my son and with people I work with (TA in SEMH) I knew what to say to get a diagnosis this has really affected me and made me question do I deserve a diagnosis or have I subconsciously faked it 

please help 

Parents
  • I saw already quite many people having similar experience after getting diagnosis. I myself am not diagnosed and I’m just observing what’s going on in this topic, but for me currently it doesn’t make sense. 
    I understand, that you may feel like you faked or tricked it. You can take a test online screening like RAADS or AQ50 and see again what they show you. Or if you feel like it’s a bad idea, then don’t take them. My colleague at work tells me, that I should go for dx. But im reluctant. It’s such a hot topic in media, I don’t want to be “trendy” I don’t wanna hear that i want attention etc. no, it hurts me and I just want a peace. So, maybe you can ask yourself what made you seek the diagnosis initially and what would give you peace of mind currently. I feel attacked and ambushed by YouTube videos (the only media I use, except of this forum) but I just decided to stop watching them, and go back to Erich Von Daniken and my beloved aliens. I just come from time to time to this forum to see what’s going on here, text some of my online friends here and I go back to my world. 
    I understand that your wife’s words hurt you, you can maybe ask her, why she thinks you made it up. Some time ago I heard from a professional that I’m probably autistic, it was after discussing my childhood. 
    As for crowds - looks like you just refused doing things, that cause you discomfort. 
    my family’s reaction to me suddenly wearing earplugs was also weird. I wear them, because of noise that my child creates and panic attacks that I started getting at home which has never happened before. But my family does not know how much I suffered during school breaks so for them I’m just making things up to get attention or just exaggerating, while the scream of my daughter is like an electric shock to me. It’s hard to explain to them and it takes time. Maybe you also should take time and give it to your wife to understand you better. 

Reply
  • I saw already quite many people having similar experience after getting diagnosis. I myself am not diagnosed and I’m just observing what’s going on in this topic, but for me currently it doesn’t make sense. 
    I understand, that you may feel like you faked or tricked it. You can take a test online screening like RAADS or AQ50 and see again what they show you. Or if you feel like it’s a bad idea, then don’t take them. My colleague at work tells me, that I should go for dx. But im reluctant. It’s such a hot topic in media, I don’t want to be “trendy” I don’t wanna hear that i want attention etc. no, it hurts me and I just want a peace. So, maybe you can ask yourself what made you seek the diagnosis initially and what would give you peace of mind currently. I feel attacked and ambushed by YouTube videos (the only media I use, except of this forum) but I just decided to stop watching them, and go back to Erich Von Daniken and my beloved aliens. I just come from time to time to this forum to see what’s going on here, text some of my online friends here and I go back to my world. 
    I understand that your wife’s words hurt you, you can maybe ask her, why she thinks you made it up. Some time ago I heard from a professional that I’m probably autistic, it was after discussing my childhood. 
    As for crowds - looks like you just refused doing things, that cause you discomfort. 
    my family’s reaction to me suddenly wearing earplugs was also weird. I wear them, because of noise that my child creates and panic attacks that I started getting at home which has never happened before. But my family does not know how much I suffered during school breaks so for them I’m just making things up to get attention or just exaggerating, while the scream of my daughter is like an electric shock to me. It’s hard to explain to them and it takes time. Maybe you also should take time and give it to your wife to understand you better. 

Children
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