Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m a 60 year old man, and have only become aware of my autism over the last 3 or 4 years, after forming a relationship with a very social, extrovert and neurotypical partner.
Even with her best efforts, we don’t always understand each other, which makes for relationship conflicts, or need for time apart….
Thoughts and experiences welcome from both perspectives?!
My long term relationship has been extremely difficult at times. Recently we have come to realise that we are both autistic (though VERY differently). It's good to realise it to start with, as it explains a lot of the tensions. Time and space to ourselves can be important to both of us - and it's good to understand that this is OK and doesn't imply that anyone is being rejected. Maybe a little harder in your situation, as someone who is neurotypical may find it harder to understand, but hopefully she will make some allowance if you can explain calmly while making it clear that you care for her.
Cheers that’s helpful too!
Whistler said:Time and space to ourselves can be important to both of us
This gets my vote. Very important, as it provides time for your style of:
processing, reflection, planning, then happy to "park" whatever it was that rattled around your brain, so you can relax into doing something to suit yourself for a brief while, before:
...looking forward to your resumption of time in the company of your partner (now that you are hopefully refreshed, better understanding what you think about this and that, and are ready to contribute to the exchange of enthusiasm for your joint plans for moving forward).