Potential Autism Diagnosis in my Fifites

Hey, thought I'd introduce myself.

It's only relatively recently that I've realised I might be autistic - I say I might be, as I haven't been officially diagnosed, although the online tests I have done seem to indicate autism. In fact, it was literally earlier today that I contacted my GP and got the autism diagnosis ball rolling.

i think many people I know would be surprised if they read this - it's not obvious from the outside, but I realise I've become incredibly good at masking. People would look at me as living a norma life - I'm happily married and have two wonderful children. My (potential?) autism shows in the following ways:

I do avoid eye contact (although I wasn't particularly aware apart from the fact a couple of people have recently mentioned it)

I've had a background anxiety my whole life, which peaks and troughs but it's always there - I started biting my nails at the age of 4 and that continues nearly 50 years later.

If I'm in society, the moment I'm alone, I need to release - I repeat phrases and just do weird ***, but the moment someone's around, I'm 'normal' again.

I feel like I'm acting most of the time and I fit in with the company - not so much now, but when I was younger i'd build a relationship with someone, but worry they'd find me out (work out that I wasn't as normal as them).

I have this weird thing, where I can't simply read a random book or listen to an album (I love both books and music). But I have this thing where if I like a song, I have to listen to the artist's songs/albums in release order, or read all of an author's books from their first publication to the last. If I don't, it doesn't feel right - I literally can't do it any other way.

I'm obsessive about time. If I have to be somewhere at a certain time, I'm always early - ridiculously early usually, so much so that I have to kill lots of time. The thought of being late fills me with anxiety. 

I have lots of short terms hobbies, which take over my life and they become super important to me, then are quickly dropped and I move onto something else. 

Now I don't know if any of this means I have autism - I'd be interested to know if anyone has any of the same traits. But I guess the main question i have is - what do I do with the knowledge that I (potenially) have autism. Joining this forum and posting here is my first step. Thanks for reading!

Parents
  • what do I do with the knowledge that I (potenially) have autism.

    I would say you read up on autism, understand the traits you exhibit and learn about techniques to follow to reduce the impact these have on your life so you have an overall better quality of life.

    Knowledge = power in this situation. How you use that power is up to you.

    A good starting point to understand the nuts and bolts would be this book:

    Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
    ISBN 0764525476

    Spend some time searching the discussion boards here for posts about the same traits you have and join in discussions as well - it helps you feel less "different" and gives a community you can dip in and out of as your energy allows.

    I get the book thing - I'm a big fan of fantasy & sci-fi and a lot of books come in a set of 3 or more, so whenever I pick one up at a charity shop then I will end up getting the rest of the set before I even start to read them. eBay has been great for completing the sets and making sure that wherever possible they spines are the same size, style and format (hardback/paperback) as the rest of the set.

  • Thanks Iain, that's really helpful and good to know you get the book thing. I'll check out the reading and the different discussion boards

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