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Hello -advice please?!

Em

Hello, I was wondering if anyone could offer me any advice please?

My (foster) son is 3 1/2 and he's been with us since he was 17 months old and has always had behavioural problems. I've done everything I can (parenting course, rewards etc) but he still has many worrying types of behaviour. He is aggressive, temper tantrums, self harming, is a 'no' person, tries to annoy/argue, doesn't like noises and is bothered by them, doesn't seem to be able to listen/follow instructions, is 'hyper' and a whole long list of things. I had an appointment with a paediatrician today after trying to get help so many times before and being fobbed off and I wrote a list of his behaviours and even though they can't/won't diagnose under 5 years old he agreed a lot of behaviousr aren't normal and seem to indicate ADHD and Autism although that wasn't a diagnosis. I'm just wondering if anyone can advise on what to do and how to get help for a child this age. He does have a lot of good qualities too and an amazing memory and storytelling ability! Thanks!

Parents

  • Thanks for the advice and tips. Sometimes we don't know when there is going to be a meltdown as I think there are other things too -not just (possibly?) Autism. He hasn't been diagnosed yet but a lot of people can see ADHD and I see O.D.D (or PDA?) The more i read. the more there is!! he will not co-operate with anything, getting dressed etc so every little task is a battle. I suppose, one thing I need help with is going shopping as it's unavoidable. He is unable to stay by me but wants to walk by himself and if I try to hold his hand so he doesn't get lost he tantrums and won't walk and I can't move him. There seems to be no solution. If I put him in the trolley he will smash his head on it.

    He does absolutely love being out at the park, running and fresh air and also physical stuff like swimming and soft play areas.

    Also, every day at nursery he hits/bites/headbutts staff and children and enjoys (in his words) hurting them. He can recite the rules (No hitting etc) but cannot stick to them and promises of rewards don't work as he lives in the here and now! Do you have any advice for that? Thank you! Emma.

Reply

  • Thanks for the advice and tips. Sometimes we don't know when there is going to be a meltdown as I think there are other things too -not just (possibly?) Autism. He hasn't been diagnosed yet but a lot of people can see ADHD and I see O.D.D (or PDA?) The more i read. the more there is!! he will not co-operate with anything, getting dressed etc so every little task is a battle. I suppose, one thing I need help with is going shopping as it's unavoidable. He is unable to stay by me but wants to walk by himself and if I try to hold his hand so he doesn't get lost he tantrums and won't walk and I can't move him. There seems to be no solution. If I put him in the trolley he will smash his head on it.

    He does absolutely love being out at the park, running and fresh air and also physical stuff like swimming and soft play areas.

    Also, every day at nursery he hits/bites/headbutts staff and children and enjoys (in his words) hurting them. He can recite the rules (No hitting etc) but cannot stick to them and promises of rewards don't work as he lives in the here and now! Do you have any advice for that? Thank you! Emma.

Children
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