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using people's names.

bernie1810

Hi, I'm new on here, only just been diagnosed after years of being reproached. for not being able to "move on" and counless misdiagnoses added to my name. I now have  hundreds of questions. One that bothers me a lot is why I have such difficulty using people's names. I can refer to someone by name but I just cannot use their name directly to them. If I want to speak to my partner, I have to go up to him and speak to him; I cannot call him by name. However I don't have this problem with my 4 year old twins. Does anyone else have this problem?

Parents

  • Use of names implies consent. This would be picked up by NTs in everyday socialisation, through being able to interpret the banter about how people are addressed, and knowing the difference between names used behind someone's back, as distinct from names used face to face.

    With autism you miss out on a large proportion of this social interchange, so you don't pick up on what name is right in a given context.

    So you frequently get picked up for speaking to someone too informally or too formally, by using the wrong name/formality. Consequently you become wary and unsure. And if you aren't able to pick up from conversation what's right, people usually wont take you seriously if you ask. And you may be told something inappropriate, just to get the laugh when you blurt it out.

    I'm certainly caught in the same predicament a lot, and suffer for it. I don't know the answer.

    All I do know is we need to get out of this ridiculous trap where day to day living with autism is only defined by the diagnostic tool - triad of impairments, which simply fails to address many of our difficulties.

    NAS in particular should stop defining us by the Triad.....

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  • Use of names implies consent. This would be picked up by NTs in everyday socialisation, through being able to interpret the banter about how people are addressed, and knowing the difference between names used behind someone's back, as distinct from names used face to face.

    With autism you miss out on a large proportion of this social interchange, so you don't pick up on what name is right in a given context.

    So you frequently get picked up for speaking to someone too informally or too formally, by using the wrong name/formality. Consequently you become wary and unsure. And if you aren't able to pick up from conversation what's right, people usually wont take you seriously if you ask. And you may be told something inappropriate, just to get the laugh when you blurt it out.

    I'm certainly caught in the same predicament a lot, and suffer for it. I don't know the answer.

    All I do know is we need to get out of this ridiculous trap where day to day living with autism is only defined by the diagnostic tool - triad of impairments, which simply fails to address many of our difficulties.

    NAS in particular should stop defining us by the Triad.....

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