Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I've just signed up and want to introduce myself but I don't know how much information I should supply. Sorry if I get it wrong.
I’m a male my 50s. Nearly 20 years ago I had a breakdown and was diagnosed with BPD. I was prescribed a max dose of quetiapine and mirtazapine, which I’ve been on up to December 2023. I self-tapered the quetiapine about a year ago and came off the mirtazapine with the help of my GP in December. This was rough though as I was dropping 15mg a month. Stopping entirely was the hardest and I still have problems sleeping.
But, on the positive side, I have realised just how sedated I have been. Now I’m off medication I’m being carful to monitor my mental health and a few weeks back I was watching a video on YT by a lady whose channel is called Ava Benji, where she spoke about Autism and misdiagnosed BPD. I found myself saying “I do that” so many times, I thought I should learn more about Autism.
So, last week I took four online Autism tests and some related ones. I don’t know if it’s the done thing to post scores, but I will supply if required. All say I’m Autistic, on the AQ test I score 38. I don’t appear to have ADHD though.
So, I’m a little freaked out. But Autism feels more “right” than the BPD diagnosis. I don’t “act out”, I internalise and I’ve never exhibited the love/hate duality in relationships that BPD sufferers have to endure.
Ultimately, I want to know myself better and try to understand how best to play this hand of cards that life has delt me.
I hope I’ve made a good first impression,
Dragonfly
Dragonfly said:But Autism feels more “right” than the BPD diagnosis
You can have both - about 7% of autists are also biploar:
https://www.verywellhealth.com/bipolar-disorder-and-autism-5204652
There are also a lot of shared traits between the two disorders so it could be just that you have more traits in the shared area - you can also do free online tests for this to give you confidence on whether you have one or both:
https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/bipolar/
Here is a useful graphic for the shared traits - I hope it helps find the right "fit" for you:
I think but I could be wrong that Dragonfly was diagnosed as having BPD (borderline personality disorder) and not bi-polar.