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Er, hello?

Dragonfly
15 days ago

Hello,

I've just signed up and want to introduce myself but I don't know how much information I should supply. Sorry if I get it wrong.

I’m a male my 50s. Nearly 20 years ago I had a breakdown and was diagnosed with BPD. I was prescribed a max dose of quetiapine and mirtazapine, which I’ve been on up to December 2023. I self-tapered the quetiapine about a year ago and came off the mirtazapine with the help of my GP in December. This was rough though as I was dropping 15mg a month. Stopping entirely was the hardest and I still have problems sleeping.

But, on the positive side, I have realised just how sedated I have been. Now I’m off medication I’m being carful to monitor my mental health and a few weeks back I was watching a video on YT by a lady whose channel is called Ava Benji, where she spoke about Autism and misdiagnosed BPD. I found myself saying “I do that” so many times, I thought I should learn more about Autism.

So, last week I took four online Autism tests and some related ones. I don’t know if it’s the done thing to post scores, but I will supply if required. All say I’m Autistic, on the AQ test I score 38. I don’t appear to have ADHD though.

So, I’m a little freaked out. But Autism feels more “right” than the BPD diagnosis. I don’t “act out”, I internalise and I’ve never exhibited the love/hate duality in relationships that BPD sufferers have to endure.

Ultimately, I want to know myself better and try to understand how best to play this hand of cards that life has delt me.

I hope I’ve made a good first impression,

Dragonfly Slight smile

  • 14 days ago

    Hello Dragonfly,

    Welcome to the forum, I hope you gain from joining. You are certainly not alone in discovering late in life that you are autistic; there are many of us here with similar stories. I was diagnosed with anxiey disorders from childhood into adult life, finally getting an assessment as High Functioning ASD four years ago aged 67.  I have no doubt that the assessment is correct, I find so many similarities with others posting here. 

    I now have peace of mind, and continue to learn.

    Knowledge brings relief.

    Ben

  • 14 days ago in reply to Mr T
    Mr T said:
    I think but I could be wrong that Dragonfly was diagnosed as having BPD (borderline personality disorder) and not bi-polar.

    My bad - for some reason I was thinking it was BiPolar Disorder there.

    In this case there are fairly low incidences of comorbidity:

    https://psychcentral.com/autism/bpd-and-autism

    ASD and BPD are two disorders that seem to have very little in common, but researchers have noticed some overlap between the two conditions.

    Both autism and BPD have the following features:

    1. reduced cognitive empathy
    2. poor interpersonal skills
    3. executive dysfunction

    These traits are likely to contribute to the AQ score of 38 (out of 50 with the threshold being 26) so I suspect it is going to take a specialist with experience of both BPD and ASD to be able to assess if there are both present or just the autistic traits of BPD.

  • 15 days ago in reply to Iain

    I think but I could be wrong that Dragonfly was diagnosed as having BPD (borderline personality disorder) and not bi-polar.

  • 15 days ago

    Welcome to the community! Many of us have a history of misdiagnosis which is very common in the mental health area. I also have such history and I came across the Asperger syndrome and told myself “but why it’s a description of me?!” And also “yeah, I do that I feel that” etc. I score between 40-45 in various AQs and 170 in RAADS. As for now not requesting official diagnosis but maybe if I need it in the future then I would go for that. I hope you will enjoy connecting to other people here. 

  • 15 days ago

    Welcome.  People do share "scores" here....if you use the (frankly hopeless) search function on this forum, I am sure you will stumble across the numerous threads on that topic.

    It must be nice to feel "you" after the meds.  I hope you will find some use from this place.  You have arrived whilst many "regulars" are on sabbatical.....but they will return when the mood takes them.  Us autists are a curious bunch (to say the least).....but undoubtedly MY tribe.

    I look forward to bumping into you again on the threads.

    Be well.

    Kind regards

    Number.

    PS..."Er, hello?" = makes me like you very much.

  • 15 days ago
    Dragonfly said:
    But Autism feels more “right” than the BPD diagnosis

    You can have both - about 7% of autists are also biploar:

    https://www.verywellhealth.com/bipolar-disorder-and-autism-5204652

    There are also a lot of shared traits between the two disorders so it could be just that you have more traits in the shared area - you can also do free online tests for this to give you confidence on whether you have one or both:

    https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/bipolar/

    Here is a useful graphic for the shared traits - I hope it helps find the right "fit" for you: