Published on 12, July, 2020
Quite a few years ago, long before I realised I was autistic (despite many others probably knowing it) the tv programme ‘the undateables’ , much like that infantilising puzzle piece logo, is one of the things that gave me such a negative stereotype in my head about autism that I refused to even entertain the idea in my head that I could have been on the spectrum myself.
My problem with it is that it was presented like a 21st century freak show. It’s made by neurotypical people saying that these people are “undateable” by their standards. It’s giving neurotypical people the opportunity to feel good about themselves by watching the “cute special people” and being all happy for them. Looking back it’s like it’s about us and not for us. What I realise these days is that neurotypical people are often “undateable” by the standards of neurodivergent people. I wonder how many neurotypical people who watch the undateables think that the people featured on that programme might never want to date them in a million years? That NT people might be weirder to them than any autistic or disabled person.
Very out of character for me to go in a social justice style rant! And I really hope this doesn’t offend anyone who might like this show. I just thought I’d put this thought out into the blue yonder!
Yeh it’s not ideal is it. I don’t think we should find amusement from disabled people. Calling them ‘undateable’ I mean that’s just mean lol. I’m sure somebody would date them. I don’t identify with it at all. I am very dateable. Many girls would probably love to date me. Guarantee it actually. Don’t mean to toot my own horn but its true lol.
Agreed. And everything I’ve read online about autistic dating seems to focus on whether ‘girls will date autistic guys’. Kinda neglecting the fact that autistic women exist… in large numbers. not that I’m saying NTs and ND’s can’t date each other. But the idea that NT romantic standards are something you need to aspire to is plain wrong to me.