Discovering your traits

Hello everyone 

This is kind of a big deal for me to put this out there. I have been compiling a list of my traits and experiences over the last 9 months now since I discovered my son is autistic. 
Before that time I knew I was different and I’m utterly shocked at the amount of things I have on my list. I kinda know the answer but I’m so thoughtful towards others that I wouldn’t want to waste an assessor’s time or take an assessment away from someone else but just wanted to share this. 

My list so far. 

Over sensitive in my nature

Bright sunlight hurts

Take things literally and don’t get why people find that funny

Get frustrated and irritated with yourself and others for very little

Tired in body for no reason feel exhausted

Sensitive to smells (candles and perfume, hairspray and car air fresheners)

Sensitive to extreme heat/cold

High pain threshold

Very Forgetful so use notes but forget to look at them

Struggle with eye contact feels extremely uncomfortable (can’t even look at myself for long)

Struggle with socialising feels overwhelming (more people the worse it feels)

Mask a lot especially in social interactions

Everything is a task

OCD (feel good when I’m this way)

Poor concentration unable to multitask

Sit in quiet dark space sometimes to calm myself down

Over empathetic (can physically feel tension, happiness from others)

Struggle thinking of words when in conversation

Always thinking I don’t handle things well

Can talk very loudly and then too quietly

Don’t like people that much

Easily offended

Get very down

Struggle to plan how long tasks and work take

Struggle to find a word when talking (brain doesn’t think quick enough)

Hate asking for help (guilt)

Get so fixated on tasks can block out things around me inc not eating

Don’t really enjoy going out and can’t wait to get home

Very slow at reading as I constantly go over the same thing (to try and make sense)

Multi tasking is awful and makes me really anxious

Avoid gossip and speculation

Constant need to talk about disagreements

Sulk a lot (silent treatment)

Always look grumpy to people even when happy

Wife says I always appear unhappy

Sensitive to air pressure do get regular nosebleeds

Panic attacks

Highly self aware

Inertia (struggle to start but when I do it’s difficult to stop)

Lack of control (won’t let others do certain things as they won’t do it as I would do it)

Depression and anxiety

Constantly monitor people’s behaviour, body language and expression so I can better interpret their mood (but usually get it wrong)

Use other people’s mannerisms for my own purposes (to appear confident or tougher)

Interests/obsession Motorbike racing, autism, order and monitoring people’s behaviour

Meltdown (internalised and contained) usually are extreme unhappiness, feel detached from everything and in a truly dark place and alone.

Panic attacks where I’m heaving and trying to throw up, breathing restrictions in my throat and sometimes are physically sick.

Have had counselling with 2 or 3 private therapists to no avail.

Genuinely feel I suffer ptsd and was especially highlighted after my father’s devastating stroke and aneurism. This changed me permanently.

Stims include hands between knees and wobble my knees, hold my head in my hands, bite skin in my mouth and fingers sometimes rock

Don’t like being grabbed or touched by surprise

Have trouble saying bye to people like I don’t hug or kiss (unless it’s wife my mum or kids) I just don’t get it

Hate the material silk, it makes me feel sick just thinking about it

Suffered from severe urticaria for years (could never find a cause) had tests for intolerance but was never found. I think this was social anxiety and stress that caused it. I was on medication for a long time for this.

Have had antidepressants in the past from Gp.

Can get taken advantage of.

Hate injustice

Always picking out flaws in what my wife says and correct her which appears to come across as negative

When socialising I get very tired early, lots of yawning and just need to rest

Replay past conversations over and over in my head ( this can be for a very long time after the event)

Don’t like people being too close to me especially if I’m not familiar with them

Can forget what I’m doing if I have a break

Would really appreciate any feedback if you wouldn’t mind at all please.