First post- hello!

Mindymoo said:

Hi, Just joined NAS. OUr eldest son, James (7.5 years) has just been diagnosed with Aspergers....very new to all this, although suspected for a long time. Glad to be part of the community....Mx

hi im called Daniel and I've just joined nas to I have aspegers and I'm on the autistic spectrom i was diagnosed when I was 4 years old thanks Daniel I'm galas to

Thanks for your reply- it really helped to think what he is thinking- although J's little brother is quite careful with J's things, that is not how J sees it when A takes his things!

We are going to give J a box to decorate so he can put out of bounds tthings in every day. The 'precious' things change all the time so box contents may need to be changed often!

thanks again....

Mindy

Hi Mindymoo,

From someone who is now a teenager/adult with Autism, the sharing issue for me was more about getting the toy back from the person I lent it to in the shame condition I gave it to them. Kind of watching from a distance and seeing that they didn't break or ruffle it up, basically give it the care and respect they should give their own toys.

The same for any other thing really, so substract toy and you can add colouring books, crayons etc.

As you and other poster seem to getting weighed down by the caring aspect have you looked into short breaks from your local council. Your child/ren can spend a few hours away with a volunteer/play or youth centre or another place like this in order for you to re-charge your batteries. Have a look on your council's website or email as they're supposed to have a policy on this for disabled children.

Hope that helped,

urspecial

It's so reassuring to hear that this situation/worries is/are shared...  I was reading that it is very stressful for kids with Aspergers to keep things together at school, to concentrate, follow rules & structures etc...also that they will literally kick off when home, taking frustrations out on those around them etc. Sounds familiar!

J is not very good at self-selecting activities and often comes home 'wired' and demanding to do crafts, make a model etc. he won't take no for an answer! With another wee one to look after, this is hard. I also don't want little brother to be picked on - not fair at all, and find I am constantly listening to their conversations (they do play quite well for spells) for shifts in dynamics and hovering nearby in case J gets frustrated and hits/pushes A. All quite tense...J prefers to dominate A and doesn't like it if he doesn't comply!

I found that we didn't say much to J until the follow up appointment, even then he was only a wee bit aware anyway. We have used the term 'Aspergers Syndrome' when he is finding things difficult and seems quite ditressed by his own emotions. We say (when he  is calmer!) that" this is  because you have Aspergers and that means you find certain things tricky" . having casual conversations side by side/ in the car, reflecting on situations seems to work best, not eye contact pressurised one-on-ones!

Good to 'chat'. Hope your week goes ok.

Mx

Hi Abbi,

He is ok, but flaring up when tired. Little brother (nearly 4) seems to trigger it, issues with sharing especially!

Our Psych met with us and our son again 2 weeks ago and told him that he has Aspergers. He didn't really pay much attention as was quite engrossed in the bricks in the room, but it has allowed us to use the term when we are explaining to him why he finds certain things difficult/ sees them in a different way. I don't really feel we are managing things very well with him as it is quite exhausting and there can be so many occasions each day when we have to keep calm and try to help him. School, thankfully is fine- no issues really and he is so well supported in a small class. He just seems to let rip at home, which is quite common I think...

Glad to be in touch with others in same boat....

Mx

Thanks for that! The site looks great! James is ok, it's just my husband & I who are working hard to get into his way of thinking and try to understand certain behaviours. As the psych said "this will take longer than you think!" One day at a time though...

Hi - welcome to the site.  Lots of info via the home pg + posts so have a look around if you haven't already.  How's your son doing?