Hi

Hello Joseph,

I know that it's easy to be discouraged. I have a Foundation Degree in Science in Computing that I gained in 2015. So far, I have only been able to hold down one full time job, that I was made redundant from nearly two years ago. I have been job searching ever since.

I also have never dated (At 29), car-less despite having a driving licence, and I am still living with my parents.

Thank you, I'll try to keep my head up and be the best version of myself.

Thank you for your response. The thing about networking is that it helped me get some work experience and volunteer experience, learn a lot, but it has not been very helpful in getting a job. It always bothers me when people talk about networking - it is really vague and can be anything really. I do not want to go into medical physics or healthcare. Interviews I always find difficult but I am gradually getting better at them. I am considering doing more charity work or voluntary work. I might also apply to do tutoring - this would be paid and it would at least get me out of the house a bit more.

"there are so many possible career paths for someone with a physics degree."

Doesn't always feel that way. You see, if I wasn't autistic, and if I had learned to drive at 17 like everyone else, I would have probably gotten a job by now, maybe even moved out of my parents' house and relocated. But having autism, anxiety, PTSD, a bunch of food intolerances, and no drivers' licence limits my options. My physics degree was messed up by COVID, so myself and many others don't have as many chances or career opportunities, especially with the social and economic fallout of COVID, Brexit, inflation, cost-of-living crisis.

"I don't think you need therapy, I think you need a chance."

No one has given me a chance by accepting me onto a graduate job/scheme yet. People have given me chances for work experience and volunteering experience, and I am forever grateful to them.

"Charities are another possibility - they pay reasonably well, and even if you only get a 6 month contract, it might lead to something more permanent. Don't hold out for 'the permanent' job - most graduates job-hop until they find what suits them."

The thing about job-hopping is that I keep hearing that it is frowned upon. The bookmark volunteering I am doing, that will only be until the end of July. I don't want to do a bunch of short things because I am afraid it won't look great on my CV, LinkedIn, or in job applications. I am afraid of having gaps on my CV, or having to explain why I'm a Physics MSci graduate from Imperial College London and yet do not have a job (Imperial is number 1 in the UK for graduate employability, apparently). The thing is that a significant fraction of positions and vacancies advertised by the careers service are for research roles and postgraduate degrees. I don't want to do either of those.

I like doing the bookmark reading volunteering but will probably finish it in July, so it will have been a full academic year (I started in September). I cannot do it forever, because it is online and unpaid, and I cannot do it forever. I am considering applying for tutoring physics or maths.

My experiences with recruitment agencies haven't been good - on the whole, they have not been very helpful, the jobs advertised are not really suitable for me. I do read some of my book every evening but haven't been to my local library in a while - perhaps I should go back there. After all, it's not too far away. Social contact stuff - I mean, I could do with spending more time with other people and seeing my friends a bit more often. Last week I met up with about 12 old friends from uni and we went bowling, minigolf, and then to a restaurant. It was great fun, great to catch up with them. I would like to see my friends more often.

I think starting a new job in August/September would be good. Maybe charity work or tutoring. As long as it gets me out of the house. It may take me another year to find a graduate job/scheme. It's just that as the years go on, it gets harder, because there are more graduates, and more jobs that I cannot apply for because they want graduates from certain years (e.g. 2024 or 2025, rather than 2023, which is the year I graduated), so I worry I will be shut out of even more jobs. But I will keep trying. I have applied for some temp/part time work but haven't heard back yet, but I will keep trying. I check the job boards everyday.

Some of the mentoring support I have got has involved helping me write a personal statement, which has been quite helpful, and also trying to look for entry-level roles in companies directly by looking on their websites, which hasn't been helpful. But I will keep engaging with the mentoring support.

Sorry for being so negative. When I wrote my original post I should have worded it differently. I'll be 23 next month, and in the last year I haven't got a job, but I did get a degree, more work experience, volunteering experience, learned a bunch of new skills, got better at doing job applications, and passed my driving theory test. These are things to be proud of. I struggle to take pride in my achievements. I am making progress, but slower than I would have liked. But slow progress is still progress, as they say.

Good attitude to have

Thank you for your reply. I keep trying every single day and sometimes it feels like my hard work has stopped paying off. There are too many graduates and too few jobs, and everything is so expensive. The odds are stacked against my generation, and the world gets worse everyday, so sometimes I wonder why even bother? But I keep trying everyday. In the past year I got a degree, some work experience, some volunteer experience, passed my driving theory test, and learned some more life skills. So it's progress, slower than I would have liked, but slow progress is still progress. I promise I will never give up.

Hi Joseph,

I feel your pain. I got my first job, aged 16, stacking shelves in the local pharmacy because my grannie was the housekeeper for the shop owner and said I was a hard worker. Since I was painfully honest, I was reliable about shift times and money handling I got on well, and was able to get a good employment reference to take with me to uni and get a part time job while I studied. I am not good at selling myself at interview, and had similar struggles when I finished my first degree. I was miserable in education too, and have been bullied in every job I've ever had in my 35 year working life, apart from the 2 most recent jobs. I have only recently found out I'm autistic, and I now work part time as my career change has taken me to unfamiliar places.

I only got a graduate job because one of my classmates had a fiancé that needed some data analysis done and she put me in touch with my Maths degree, and I got a temporary contract. I'd been up and down the country at recruitment events and was also not a "good fit". I didn't get into accountancy as they said my test scores were too high and I'd get bored and leave.... It felt really bad while I was in that wasteland, so I went back to my old department and asked if they had a few hours' tutoring the undergraduate students, just to keep me busy, and got paid for that. It wasn't much, but showed initiative.

Employment these days is so complex, as there are so many possible career paths for someone with a physics degree. Have you any interests in medical physics? Applying for a job in healthcare might suit you. The employers are generally disability-friendly, and can make accommodations at interview and in the workplace.

I'd ask you to think about what would give you the most joy out of life, and take tiny steps towards achieving that. Business, administration, science, healthcare, lab, research, publishing.... It is hard making a decision, but being really enthusiastic about what you are applying for is half the battle at the interview. I career-changed into an area that brought me joy, was bullied when I was in it, but am hoping to get back in again somewhere else.

Charities are another possibility - they pay reasonably well, and even if you only get a 6 month contract, it might lead to something more permanent. Don't hold out for 'the permanent' job - most graduates job-hop until they find what suits them.

Does your local library have any groups you might connect with? I haven't been but mine does board games once a month.

Don't worry too much about social contact - do what is comfortable for you. Some days just living with other people is enough. Other days, sitting in a cafe or quiet shopping centre gives me the people contact without any pressure to interact. Libraries are good places to go too, unless the kids are doing their singing and trigger a noise sensitivity.

I don't think you need therapy, I think you need a chance.

Hey Joseph

Try not to panic too much, you’re 22 years old and still have many years ahead. I’m 49 and still feel like a youngster. I didn’t leave home until 28-29 years old (I just  wasn’t ready). Even then I needed a good push as well. I always felt overwhelmed with big responsibilities but I’m sort of ok now. 
I honestly believe if you want something enough it will come and for me things happened later on in life but I got there and it was right for me. 
You sound like a very intelligent person with great aspirations and I’m sure you will find what you’re looking for. 

Just keep pushing for it 

Take care and best wishes 

Completely with you on struggling to get out of your comfort zone - it's something I really struggle with! Reading your update it's good to hear you've applied for mentoring support and still applying for some jobs in the meantime. Wishing the very best for you. :-) Happy to keep in touch for sure!

Hi EmsaStrange, thank you for your response. Yeah it's been tough for many students and grads. Quite a few of my friends from uni are still looking for work. Getting out of my comfort zone is very challenging, but I know I can do it - from keeping applying to jobs, to going to driving lessons, engaging with folks on this website, and trying to meet up with my friends a bit more often. The big thing for me is to spend more time with other people. Because I spend too much time at home. So building up the courage to do things like join meetup groups is the next step, but it is very difficult for me to take this step. I keep hesitating. The comparison thing is difficult, and an uphill battle. I had planned for my life to go in a very specific way, but things changed and I had to change my plans and my outlook on life. I'll keep trying to remind myself that my life should not be about racing other people to planned goalposts or checkpoints or boxes on a checklist. I'm happy to keep in touch with you.

Yeah it's such a broken system.

Thank you for your comment. I also wish there was more support given for careers, that is tailored for autistic people.

Thank you for your comment. Yeah the thing about culture fit is quite strange, and I have to consider the working environment carefully.

Hi Pixiefox, thank you for your response. I have edited it out of my post, but KDV stands for Kissless Dateless Virgin. I use that term because according to stupid societal standards, someone my age "should" have done those things. KTHHFDV stands for Kissless Touchless Hugless Handholdless Friendless Dateless Virgin, aka an incel. I am afraid that if I date someone, when they find out im a Kissless Dateless Virgin, what if they think im weird or an incel. (i know this is an irrational fear and one that I am strenuously trying to rid myself of). I want to clarify that I am afraid of being accused of being an incel. This is a rather irrational fear, I know, as the incel ideology is an extremely misogynistic one.

I would like to clarify that I am not an incel, never have been and never will be. It is a grotesque ideology and one that I will always oppose. I am not misogynistic. In fact, I am a feminist. I do not engage with those online forums in the so-called manosphere. What concerns me is that the term incel is thrown around in the media a lot, and is sometimes used by some people to refer to all men with no romantic experience, even those who are not misogynists. They may be just shy or more reserved, as in my case. I am not very courageous, and am very nervous around women. I have avoided dating/relationships and tried to build on other areas of my life.

I know the fear I have described (of being accused of being an incel due to being a Kissless Dateless Virgin) is an irrational one, and I am sorry for using that acronym, KDV, to describe myself. I have removed it from my post. I know I am too harsh on myself (all my family, friends, and teachers tell me this). I should not think of my life in terms of what I feel I should have done by now, but rather the things that I have accomplished (e.g. degree and work experience, making friends and learning new skills), and the things i would like to do in the future (get a driver's licence, a job, and move out my parents house, and maybe go dating). I should not rush myself.

I have considered data analysis/IT roles but I am not technical enough. I know MS Office suite, Teams, a bit of PowerBI, and some python, some sound editing software, but no other tech or coding language skills. I have considered going into teaching or teaching assistant roles. This is a sort of last resort option for me. I have registered with a different agency and have put my name down for part-time/temp roles as well as full-time roles. I have also signed up for mentoring that is designed for people with autism, and helping them with things such as finding employment.

I chose physics because it was my best subject in school and a lot of career opportunities are there for physics students and graduates. I have been applying to fewer finance positions and more public sector roles and operations roles (these require a lot of organisation, time management, planning, communication, and problem solving, things I am good at).

Corporate culture is a strange one. I don't drink tea, coffee, or alcohol. I don't smoke or vape or use drugs. I tend to avoid loud crowded places. So yeah, it's difficult for me to feel that I fit in.

The economy and job market have not been great for the last couple of years, as you said, it's difficult for many people. The getting a car thing is not a priority of mine - maybe I'll never get one. But the driver's licence I would like to get, and I am enjoying the weekly driving lessons.

Thank you again for your kind response. I will do my best to engage with the community.

Story of my life, since I was your age; I'm 44 now.

Perhaps the convenient mode of Job searching isn't for us.

Hi Joseph and welcome

I'm intrigued by what you mean by KDV - never heard of it - I googled it and the results indicate that you are either a type of partial differential equation, or a Turkish Tax Law 

You're only 22, so don't get depressed at not having done certain things yet. I'm in my 60s and still don't drive or own a car - not bothered about it now either.

Congratulations on getting your degree. youre doing all the right things, but It's difficult to get your first job these days, whether you're autistic or not.

Maybe you're being told that you're not a "culture fit" because you come over as someone who would not enjoy the things that other staff in the company do, like going to the pub Friday lunchtime or playing golf together at the weekend. Also, although your physics degree should give you the opportunity to get a wide range of jobs, may be they think it's too narrow a field to give you the ability to adapt to a role like the ones you have been applying for in business/finance/renewable energy/operations/project management/public sector. 

I would have suggested teaching or lecturing, but as you don't like people you probably wouldn't enjoy it. Have you applied for any scientific/technical roles in your local hospital? Have you thought about being a Data analyst? IT and engineering positions also might be a good fit for you. You mentioned temping, but have you registered with agencies for temporary work, or just permanent positions? I've found that temping can be a good way in to getting a permanent role.

Keep engaging with this community - we don't always have all the answers, but we try to support others.

Welcome to the community.

I'm afraid I don't have much to offer in terms of getting a job. I was incredibly lucky to be able to get a job straight out of college but the job market was much easier all those years ago. Once you have a job then actually enjoying it and wanting to stay is another matter entirely.

Joseph said:

I keep applying for jobs. Writing CVs and cover letters is not a problem. Getting passed some online assessments and interviews is the problem. Asking for adjustments hasn't really helped me that much in most applications. I've gotten to final round interviews and been rejected for some stupid reasons like not being a good culture fit.

Opinions differ on whether it is better to disclose being autistic prior to interview. Some say that it is better to wait until after the job offer and perhaps even after you have passed any probationary period. However I believe that up front disclosure is the best approach, so that the employer understands who they are hiring. If you mask the interview and then present very differently later it can cause disappointment on both sides.

It's probably better to know in advance if you are not considered a good culture fit for a particular organisation. It would potentially be a lucky escape and save you a lot of stress and potential burnout from working in an unsuitable environment. If they are big and team working and you work best as an individual then it's not going to be a good fit.

Welcome!

I've found it difficult to get a job too. I worked in the TV industry for a while and struggled to find my path after that - been out of work for 2.5 years bar some freelance bits.

I wish there were neurodivergent friendly careers advisors or something.

Hi Joseph! 

Sorry to hear you've been having a tough time post-graduation, I think a lot of students are in a similar boat post-covid. I'm 24, I graduated in 2020 just as covid was kicking off and wasn't diagnosed until a year after that, which really threw me. 

Other than freelancing and a journalist/writer throughout covid it was impossible to get a job, and it took well over a year for me to find a full-time job, and even longer to settle in. Prior to that I was in the same boat, applying to tons of jobs, get to interview stage, but then not get the job over "culture fit" or communication, or experience. 

Unfortunately for me, the only way things really got better was through getting out of my comfort zone and persevering. At times I felt so behind compared to everyone else, especially as I only learned how to drive when I turned 21, and that was so painful. When things were really tough I turned to my family for support, and eventually the docs who could support with mental health side of stuff.

Regarding the things you are concerned about, it would be worth seeing if your doctor can refer you to Social Prescribers in your area who can help with setting goals of things you might want to achieve, including befriending, social activities, health and wellbeing improvement, and they can also point you in the right direction for other services if they can't help you directly (this includes job stuff).

Sorry for talking a lot about my experiences, also I'm not an expert lol. Please keep in mind you are only in your twenties (as am I) and the only person setting high expectations of what you should be achieving is yourself. I say this as I do the exact same thing, I compare myself to others and the fact they have a house and I don't, that they have a car and I don't... Life is a long journey and not a race. :-)

Happy to keep in touch if you are looking to connect with people on here. :-) 

I'm not in a position to offer help as I've not been able to work for quite a while because of anxiety and such, but I just wanted to say welcome and I hope things look up for you soonish.