I don't know if this is the right forum to post this. Sorry.
I am nearly 50. I have been in a relationship with my husband for 30 years (married for 22).
I am not diagnosed but after our youngest (14) had her initial triage and subsequent referral for asd, have realised there's a strong chance I am also asd due to many similar behaviours.
My husband has severe dyslexia and has always required support. He has self taught himself and has developed his skillset.
Over the years, he has strived to accomplish through self employment as the workplace has often led to him developing anxiety and depression due to their lack of understanding about his learning difference and way of working.
He recently asked me to consider replacing my wage (I am part time and do not earn a great deal but love my job) with his so I could be home to assist (we would use savings to help whilst he built up the self employed aspect,). I said I would but never did. He took the leap and now the savings are gone, we are in a place where he cannot earn enough. He has a short term income which is not secure and also not enough time to work on building up a long term opportunity/project.
I struggle to make decisions. I am scared about risk. I try and people please. He is stressed and frustrated. Every time we try and discuss it we argue, I get overwhelmed, he gets more frustrated and we go round in circles.
I don't understand what to do. I get upset. I stim. It then turns into the focus being on me and he feels even more cast aside. The kids hear us argue and the eldest (anxiety/low mood) withdraws and the youngest seeks out attention and provokes conflict with anyone.
I'm destroying my family. I don't act like a grown up. I hate responsibility to the point I hide from it. I walk away from anything I find difficult.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know if this is the right forum to post this. Sorry.