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Hello I need advice

SMJSB

Hello my name is Sarah 

I have a two year old boy called Jonathan who is autistic he has not yet been statmented however i have been told he is by a sycoligist and peodtrition that he is

My ex the dad of my two children also had autism and could function fairly normal after my daughter was born his mum told him his daughter wasnt his and he became vilont towards not only be but my daughter awell

I could not go on in the situation any more as his mum continued to make the situation worse and when the stress of my son witnessing this got to much it would trigger his epilepsy and he would become protective and lash out so i made the dision to send him to his mothers and leave him 

This was met with mutipul assaults in front of the children and he even sexualy asaulted me on mutipul occasions I now have a new partner but i am on child protection because of the situation at the time 

My new partner in great with the children and you can see the diffrence in Jonathan he is more confident and comfortble in his surounding 

My ex has regular contact with the children and Jonathan is now attending nursry however because of the plan i am contantly bombarded by services coming to the house and meetings witch makes it imposible to get into a routien and Jonathan prefers to follow his own routine jumping from one thing to thing to the next thing of interest witch makes his behavior difficult when i have to take him away from whatever it is he is doing at the time 

Jonathan functions normaly on between 4 and 6 hours of sleep a night and no nap i would really like to have his room turned in to a sensory room/bedroom however im not sure how to go about this or where to fund it as am struggling finacaly and do not work if anyone can give me advice its much aprecated

  • he has tryed it when he went for tests it didnt work verry well for him only on the highest dose did he finaly fall asleep and he was drousy for 20 min till he fell asleep the he slept for 10 i know the effects of lack of sleep and his peodtrition is looking in to it 

    yes they did they said i wa dis engaging with agencys i said they could come to the hospital but the aid "we need to see you and Jonathan at home in his "natral" enviroment and put his delay down to lack of stimulation while i was in hospital 

    She douse not she changed after suffering a few strokes and the death of her father 

  • Melatonin is a hormone that everyone produces, it's not a sedative as such.  In autistic children that have sleep difficulties, either not enough is produced or the body doesn't process it properly.   My 8yo is on melatonin and has never had any side-effect and it has worked miracles as she would be screaming every night at bed-time with the stress of going to bed and not finding it easy to get to sleep.  They give a very low dose, 2-3mg.  Lack of sleep can be very detrimental to health.

    It's odd that SS put your children on the register because you suffered an accident?

    Your ex's mother may have an autistic spectrum condition herself.

  • I have tryed however i have to stay on the plan for another 6 months before it can go down to child in need as we have been on it before as i wa hit by a bike a 15 weeks with my daughter and had to spend 3 month in hospital they said he was the way he is because of lack of stimulation we got taken off when they found out he is this was because of his condision not me 

    My exs mum is like that she wants to keep him all to herelf and even had him sleep in the same bed until he was 18 he has trouble letting go and even when she thought there was no way of getting him back tryed to call my son hi name aying he was hers i think she may be in the early stage of dementure and she has recognised thi but done nothing about it 

    thankyou i will have a look i think it will be really good for Jonathan and they have tryed it when he whent for MRI and EGGs he doed for 10 mins on the highest dose i have been offered seditives however i dont want to go down that road as he is a verry happy little boy and it has many side affect 

  • You can ask social services if they can remove your child from the child protection plan.  As your ex was (by the sounds of it) the reason for the plan to be put in place in the beginning, and he is not in the house any more I don't see a huge reason to have such a plan in place.  As long as the children are not left unsupervised with him, and they are always safe.  I would use the fact that it's unsettling for your son in your reasoning with them.  So long as a child is not at risk, they ought to step back a bit and let the family get on with it.

    I can't understand why your ex's mother would say such things, surely she wants a relationship with her grandchildren?  Surely she knows what problems her son has and knew that this would cause major difficulties in the relationship.

    You can search for funding here: www.turn2us.org.uk which might be able to help with a sensory room for him.  As your son sleeps so poorly, have you spoken to the paediatrician about melatonin for him?