Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, as the title suggests, I've just made an account here. I'm a bit afraid of oversharing, but at the same time I feel like a bit of backstory is necessary.
I'm a 25 year old male, still living with parents, who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome as a child. I never really received any kind of education into what being Autistic entails, nor any of the issues I'd be expected to face with it, so I've kinda grown up just having to deal with things as I went. I also lived in Spain for most of my adolescence, where mental health and all kinds of non-neurotypical cases are largely unknown and ignored by the layman and health systems alike.
I was lucky enough for my family to move back to the UK after some pretty bad economic issues around 8 or so years ago and have been living here since age 16. In that time I've struggled greatly with my mental health, as various issues reared their ugly heads, and have gotten worse and worse in terms of managing my life. I was lucky enough to be in a relationship that lasted for 5 years before ending in 2020 (much to my dismay), but have otherwise been totally unable to form any kind of friendships or relationships.
At the moment I find myself struggling a lot and rarely go outside or speak to people. Most of my time is spent in my room, playing videogames and watching YouTube, which has not particularly helped. Over the course of this year I've tried improving my life and mental health through various services, including therapy, but for various reasons these have had the inverse effect. Recently I also attempted to give my local Autism Hub a chance and attended a couple of sessions, but found myself struggling to relate or talk to anyone and feeling lonelier than ever. Now, at the recommendation of my mother, I'm giving this site a try. I'm hoping that by broadening the net and talking to people who might have had similar experiences with autism, mental health and other stuff, I'll increase my chances of making friends and socialising.
Anyway, hope my wall of text hasn't bored anybody and that this is all appropriate and not overshare-ey. Have a nice day, whoever happens to have read this far.
Hi and welcome. Your posts can be as long or as short as they need to be - don't worry! What works well for me is getting up very early on a Sunday morning and going cycling. I'm not particularly fast, but there's something about the rhythm of it that calms me and allows me to think in a good way. Try it. Go early enough and there's no one around, which is even better. I end it with a nice cup of coffee in a local cafe Nero just as it opens at 8am. Good luck and keep posting.
Thank you for the welcome! It's comforting that so far I've received a lot of encouragement.
As for your suggestion, I umm... I unfortunately never learnt to ride a bike haha. I like occasionally going for walks when my mental health and anxiety allows me to, but I don't think I could do so without a specific goal as my mind tends to wander into unpleasant places when I amble around. Whenever I manage to get myself to go for a walk, I always make sure to pick a location with some kind of reward (usually food) and focus on getting to that location and enjoying the reward.
I'm hoping that someday, however, that I'll be able to go for early morning/late evening walks with a friend or a partner, as I do understand how calming it can be to share a nice quiet moment with somebody trusted and having someone with me would help keep me occupied out of my own thoughts.
I hope my response isn't overly whiny or anything, I do think your suggestion is great and I appreciate you taking time to write it, it's just that at the moment I have a lot of work to do to fix my rather silly brain haha. Also thank you for the encouragement, everyone here has been very kind and reassuring.
Hope you have a great day!