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Hi, I'm new here

A Potato

Hi, as the title suggests, I've just made an account here. I'm a bit afraid of oversharing, but at the same time I feel like a bit of backstory is necessary. 

I'm a 25 year old male, still living with parents, who was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome as a child. I never really received any kind of education into what being Autistic entails, nor any of the issues I'd be expected to face with it, so I've kinda grown up just having to deal with things as I went. I also lived in Spain for most of my adolescence, where mental health and all kinds of non-neurotypical cases are largely unknown and ignored by the layman and health systems alike. 

I was lucky enough for my family to move back to the UK after some pretty bad economic issues around 8 or so years ago and have been living here since age 16. In that time I've struggled greatly with my mental health, as various issues reared their ugly heads, and have gotten worse and worse in terms of managing my life. I was lucky enough to be in a relationship that lasted for 5 years before ending in 2020 (much to my dismay), but have otherwise been totally unable to form any kind of friendships or relationships. 

At the moment I find myself struggling a lot and rarely go outside or speak to people. Most of my time is spent in my room, playing videogames and watching YouTube, which has not particularly helped. Over the course of this year I've tried improving my life and mental health through various services, including therapy, but for various reasons these have had the inverse effect. Recently I also attempted to give my local Autism Hub a chance and attended a couple of sessions, but found myself struggling to relate or talk to anyone and feeling lonelier than ever. 

Now, at the recommendation of my mother, I'm giving this site a try. I'm hoping that by broadening the net and talking to people who might have had similar experiences with autism, mental health and other stuff, I'll increase my chances of making friends and socialising. 

Anyway, hope my wall of text hasn't bored anybody and that this is all appropriate and not overshare-ey. Have a nice day, whoever happens to have read this far. 

Parents

  • So maybe it won't work for you, but join a gym.  It's what works for me (and has done for the last 10 years).  But I don't go to the gym for anything but exercise.  I put headphones on and turn the music up when i enter the gym and remove them when I leave.  I do have people i know and sometimes talk to while there, but mostly I go there to work out.  The key thing is to lockout everything and concentrate on your own workout.  Of course if someone comes over and wants to talk, if you feel up to it, have a chat, if not be poiite and say you have to continue with your workout. 

    If the gym has a sauna, use it, it's another little hack for relaxation and they tend to be quiet places.  There were a couple of dads with older ASD children that were at some serious ASD level that would come in a couple of times a week with there kids and sit in the sauna for a while.

    So the main reason I go to the gym is to be around people, but not have to interact with them.  I feel a little less alone, even if I know none of them.  i do this for a lot of places, like supermarkets.  I go there to be around people, but not have the need to interact with them.

    Anyway, something to consider maybe.

Reply

  • So maybe it won't work for you, but join a gym.  It's what works for me (and has done for the last 10 years).  But I don't go to the gym for anything but exercise.  I put headphones on and turn the music up when i enter the gym and remove them when I leave.  I do have people i know and sometimes talk to while there, but mostly I go there to work out.  The key thing is to lockout everything and concentrate on your own workout.  Of course if someone comes over and wants to talk, if you feel up to it, have a chat, if not be poiite and say you have to continue with your workout. 

    If the gym has a sauna, use it, it's another little hack for relaxation and they tend to be quiet places.  There were a couple of dads with older ASD children that were at some serious ASD level that would come in a couple of times a week with there kids and sit in the sauna for a while.

    So the main reason I go to the gym is to be around people, but not have to interact with them.  I feel a little less alone, even if I know none of them.  i do this for a lot of places, like supermarkets.  I go there to be around people, but not have the need to interact with them.

    Anyway, something to consider maybe.

Children
  • in reply to __Pathfinder__

    Hi, thank you for the advice.

    I've received similar advice in the past, but unfortunately I am really not cut out for gyms at all. Aside from all the people that may or may not be there, there's the issue that, whenever I exercise, I tend to go pretty deep into my own head, which can lead to some bad episodes. Maybe someday if I have a partner or friend who'd be willing to go with me, or if and when I improve my mental health enough, I'll give the gym a go, but until then I find I need to find ways to distract myself first and foremost to keep the depression and anxiety demons away.

    Still, once again, thank you for recommending something and trying to help. I appreciate you taking the time to provide advice for me.