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i feel normal, but am i really?

- m15, gcses this year, grades are questionable in some, decent in others + I barely revise (severe lack in diligence)

- no problems with sounds or anything. i'll only have a meltdown if you get my mother to berate me for half an hour because that is genuinely overwhelming

- communication feels fine, although my mouth feels slow sometimes and i probably sound dumb (how do i fix this)

- had an autism diagnosis when i was younger + earlier life was a mess and i've pretty much forgotten it. feel "less autistic" as i age but that's probably an illusion

- for some reason just wouldn't write large pieces and consequently can not write anything (more than a couple of sentences; i overthink) for my gcse english (lang && lit).

- socially, i have some basis of how to act but still end up feeling like something was done wrong.

- any clarification required?

- i've also probably forgotten something important

- i don't think i have adhd (don't fit dsm criteria), or maybe just it isn't that conspicuous.

- essentially, i don't know how to feel.

 - please don't tell me to cope with this, unless i'm just being naive.at this point, i crave change towards """""normality""""" and acceptance.

Parents
  • One would have to define normal if they want to strive for it. I have yet to figure it out, indeed have thrown in the towel and left the ring, draping my gloves on the ropes. Feeling is feeling and what ever one feels is what is authentic at that moment. Try for authentic is more productive for me.

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  • One would have to define normal if they want to strive for it. I have yet to figure it out, indeed have thrown in the towel and left the ring, draping my gloves on the ropes. Feeling is feeling and what ever one feels is what is authentic at that moment. Try for authentic is more productive for me.

Children