I feel like I don't know who I am

Hi, I haven't had a clinical diagnosis yet. But I spoke to a new GP who said he thinks there's a strong possibility I have autism (after a chat, and an aq test. Based on his professional, and personal experience). And a lot of puzzle pieces have fallen into place. Obviously I've recently done a lot of research and tried to get my head around all of this. And I agree, autism would answer a lot of questions. (Being diagnosed with autism isn't something I was looking for, I just wondered if there was a deeper cause for the anxiety and depression I've had since I was young).

However, I also completed the cat-q test, and quite frankly, the results have scared me. I'm 42, and have always been the odd one out in any social groups, so being a bit different has always been normal for me, although not very nice at times. I scored 145 in the cat-q test, which is pretty high I believe. I've also recently lost interest in a hobby I've had since I was a teen. It's really made me question who I am. I genuinely didn't realise I masked that much. And now I feel like a fraud, or like my life has been a facade. I don't know who the real me is.

Kinda hoping for some reassurance, and friendly advice I guess. I have literally no one I can talk to about this. I feel the most isolated I ever have been recently. 

Oh, I'm new here, so if this is in the wrong place or anything, just let me know.

Parents
  • Welcome and, as  says, there are a lot of us late diagnosed/self diagnosed on this forum.

    I was diagnosed at 60 just over a year ago.

    There are a lot of threads here so you have the option to use the search function or ask us questions.

    You mention 'advice' - if you could be a little more specific you may get more responses.

    I've been on this forum for just over a year and there is a wealth of information and wisdom available from the members.

    All the best.

Reply
  • Welcome and, as  says, there are a lot of us late diagnosed/self diagnosed on this forum.

    I was diagnosed at 60 just over a year ago.

    There are a lot of threads here so you have the option to use the search function or ask us questions.

    You mention 'advice' - if you could be a little more specific you may get more responses.

    I've been on this forum for just over a year and there is a wealth of information and wisdom available from the members.

    All the best.

Children
  • Yes - I was diagnosed in my fifties less than a year ago. Both my children have a diagnosis too. I’m confused about just about everything right now to be honest. Life seems quite hard at the moment for all sorts of reasons, but I always feel that people in this autistic community often understand the ups and downs that my family go through. I feel so much solidarity with the people on here.