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Hi I am new. Recently diagnosed son

nursecharlee

Hi my son was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder in June this year. He is 6 and still awaiting an assessment by the educational psychologist which he has in a couple of weeks. School have been fab but he ideally needs one to one support. His main problem is lack of bowel control which he has never fully achieved. One of the main reasons I have joined this forum is that my hubby struggled with our sons diagnosis and 5 months on we arent really any further on. He is still struggling, finding it difficult to have patience with him. I have suggested he join an online forum as he is unable to come to any local support meetings due to his shiftwork. Is there anything else I can suggest to him? I have tried reading books but he isnt interested! I would be very grateful for any advice as we are struggling as a family. Many thanks

Parents

  • Hi - it's a v difficult situation.  There are posts on here about issues like yours so do a search if you haven't already.  It's really difficult when a spouse/partner can't accept the diagnosis.  It makes everything more difficult.  You will be torn between your husband + your child, acting like a mediator/peace-maker at times.  All this will be upsetting and emotionally draining.  Your husband may respond to professionals if he can discuss things with them.  I don't know how involved he was in the diagnostic process, so just a thought.  Do you think he would join a forum such as this or even just read the posts/info without joining?  That would be a useful thing for him to do + wd hopefully help him to move on from where he presently is.  Some parents can be really intransigent about accepting the diagnosis.  They waste a great deal of time + cause so much heartache (inc. their own) before they come to terms with how things are.  As your son is now at school you should consider asking for a statement of educational needs so he can get the support he needs at school.  I knew someone who refused to accept his son was autistic.  Eventually he had to and his son went to a school for autistic children, but it could have happened a few yrs sooner, which would have benefitted everyone.  I'm not saying your son necessarily needs a school for autistic children, but it does illustrate how stubborn things can get.  There's also info about potty training on the posts and probably via the home pg.  I hope things improve for you all soon.  It's an emotional time for everyone.

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  • Hi - it's a v difficult situation.  There are posts on here about issues like yours so do a search if you haven't already.  It's really difficult when a spouse/partner can't accept the diagnosis.  It makes everything more difficult.  You will be torn between your husband + your child, acting like a mediator/peace-maker at times.  All this will be upsetting and emotionally draining.  Your husband may respond to professionals if he can discuss things with them.  I don't know how involved he was in the diagnostic process, so just a thought.  Do you think he would join a forum such as this or even just read the posts/info without joining?  That would be a useful thing for him to do + wd hopefully help him to move on from where he presently is.  Some parents can be really intransigent about accepting the diagnosis.  They waste a great deal of time + cause so much heartache (inc. their own) before they come to terms with how things are.  As your son is now at school you should consider asking for a statement of educational needs so he can get the support he needs at school.  I knew someone who refused to accept his son was autistic.  Eventually he had to and his son went to a school for autistic children, but it could have happened a few yrs sooner, which would have benefitted everyone.  I'm not saying your son necessarily needs a school for autistic children, but it does illustrate how stubborn things can get.  There's also info about potty training on the posts and probably via the home pg.  I hope things improve for you all soon.  It's an emotional time for everyone.

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