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Its all still new and not coping

jrandall10

Hello everyone

My name is Jayne and I am married to Daz, we have a daughter who we call Dm. She is six and was diagnosed with mild ASD in December 2012. She was also diagnosed with SPD in July 2012, we love our baby girl to death and want to help her as much as we can. We are finding it all very difficult and we thought almost a year after her being diagnosed that we would be coping better but it is all getting harder. Dm holds it together all day in school but is like a volcano errupting when we pick her up. She wants to do everyday things but it all overstimulates and that makes us want to avoid it. We have lots of visuals for her and we try talk to her about a lot of things with her to help understand them. We get no professional help and our family do not understand so its pretty much the three of us. What we would like help and advice with is:

1. Should we be disciplining bad behaviour or just ignoring it?

2. Should we be just using one form of reward or is it ok to use individual reward charts to help her with the things she struggles with?

3. We get alot of attitude from Dm but general discipline doesn't have any effect on her, does she understand that she is being cheeky or is she just being a general little girl?

If anyone can help us with any advice or support we will be grateful, we are struggling and we want to enjoy being parents to Dm not dread everyday 

Thank you all

Parents

  • Hi - sounds like life is v difficult for all of you, especially without any support which is always so important.  There's absolutely loads of info via the home pg and the posts, so if you haven't already, have a look around.

    School :  your daughter is reacting to what is for her a massively stressful day at school - loads of posts on here about that.  She tries to bottle everything up + when she gets home it all pours out.  Has she got a statement of educational needs which wd entitle her to support at school?  Ordinary school can be chaotic to someone with autism, all those people, changes, noises, playtime.  It can all be over-stimulating. Check out the home pg + if you need to, look at ipsea which deals with educational issues.

    Bad behaviour :  cd you describe what you mean by this?  It'll help with replies.  She may well not understand that she's being "cheeky".  You need to stop relating to her as a non-autistic child and to do that you need to have a detailed understanding of how autism affects her as an individual.  Discipline can actually make things worse because she won't necessarily grasp what she's "done wrong".  Rewards/bribery can be v effective.  I wd keep things as simple as you can.  If 1 reward chart works, why have more?

    Does she have a regular routine which she can rely on + doesn't aggravate things?  Has she sensitivities relating to things like : certain noises, tastes, touch, smells?  

    Others will be along soon to offer advice.  Good luck with everything 

Reply

  • Hi - sounds like life is v difficult for all of you, especially without any support which is always so important.  There's absolutely loads of info via the home pg and the posts, so if you haven't already, have a look around.

    School :  your daughter is reacting to what is for her a massively stressful day at school - loads of posts on here about that.  She tries to bottle everything up + when she gets home it all pours out.  Has she got a statement of educational needs which wd entitle her to support at school?  Ordinary school can be chaotic to someone with autism, all those people, changes, noises, playtime.  It can all be over-stimulating. Check out the home pg + if you need to, look at ipsea which deals with educational issues.

    Bad behaviour :  cd you describe what you mean by this?  It'll help with replies.  She may well not understand that she's being "cheeky".  You need to stop relating to her as a non-autistic child and to do that you need to have a detailed understanding of how autism affects her as an individual.  Discipline can actually make things worse because she won't necessarily grasp what she's "done wrong".  Rewards/bribery can be v effective.  I wd keep things as simple as you can.  If 1 reward chart works, why have more?

    Does she have a regular routine which she can rely on + doesn't aggravate things?  Has she sensitivities relating to things like : certain noises, tastes, touch, smells?  

    Others will be along soon to offer advice.  Good luck with everything 

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