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Its all still new and not coping

jrandall10

Hello everyone

My name is Jayne and I am married to Daz, we have a daughter who we call Dm. She is six and was diagnosed with mild ASD in December 2012. She was also diagnosed with SPD in July 2012, we love our baby girl to death and want to help her as much as we can. We are finding it all very difficult and we thought almost a year after her being diagnosed that we would be coping better but it is all getting harder. Dm holds it together all day in school but is like a volcano errupting when we pick her up. She wants to do everyday things but it all overstimulates and that makes us want to avoid it. We have lots of visuals for her and we try talk to her about a lot of things with her to help understand them. We get no professional help and our family do not understand so its pretty much the three of us. What we would like help and advice with is:

1. Should we be disciplining bad behaviour or just ignoring it?

2. Should we be just using one form of reward or is it ok to use individual reward charts to help her with the things she struggles with?

3. We get alot of attitude from Dm but general discipline doesn't have any effect on her, does she understand that she is being cheeky or is she just being a general little girl?

If anyone can help us with any advice or support we will be grateful, we are struggling and we want to enjoy being parents to Dm not dread everyday 

Thank you all

  • Thank you for your comment and you are so right. I have read ten things your child with autism wants to know and that really help. Thx again for your comment xxx

  • And so far it's working so keeping fingers crossed it continues xx

  • Thank you all for your support. After posting this, a friend from another support group suggested we tried to ignore the answering back and loads of praise for good behaviour xx

  • Hi Jayne

    Myself & my Husband are also new to all this our son has also just been given his diagnosis, however before this had happened the Speach 7 Language department put us in touch with The Hanen Program to take part in a Talkability course ( People skills for Verbal children on the Autism Spectrum- A guide for Parents)

    This gave us some ideas & help to try a different approach to our sons Behaviours & triggers..

    Its worth while looking into this & finding out if the course is available in your area.

    www.hanen.org

    This is the various program list its worth a read to see if any of these suit you.. Speak to your Speach & Language department & ask them to reffer/point you in the right direction...

    http://www.hanen.org/Programs/For-Parents.aspx

    I hope this helps in some way

    Jen,x

  • Being overtired makes things worse for me and my son, so try to get everything relaxing at bedtime, nice lights that arent too bright, and nice cocoa and biscuits

  • I used to put on a Johnny Cash CD to get my son to sleep, Johnny Cash has a very soothing voice and it helped my son relax, but now my son knows all the lyrics of every Johnny Cash song

  • Hello, she doesn't have a statement at school. She has a autism support worker that visits and observes her but as she is fitting and doing well, they don't see an issue. Her bad behaviour is not listening, attitude and hitting when it's gets too much for her. She gets very overstimulated by many things and will want to do normal things that we know will over stimulate her so do we stop her doing them? She has routine, that I have moved into her bedroom so we can try to do it together the night b4 for the next day but bedtime is very late and it's hard time fit it in. I am trying to draw her attention to and maybe it needs to be down here so she can have more involvement with it, I think she doesn't even look at it.

    thanks again for your reply

    jayne 

  • Hi - sounds like life is v difficult for all of you, especially without any support which is always so important.  There's absolutely loads of info via the home pg and the posts, so if you haven't already, have a look around.

    School :  your daughter is reacting to what is for her a massively stressful day at school - loads of posts on here about that.  She tries to bottle everything up + when she gets home it all pours out.  Has she got a statement of educational needs which wd entitle her to support at school?  Ordinary school can be chaotic to someone with autism, all those people, changes, noises, playtime.  It can all be over-stimulating. Check out the home pg + if you need to, look at ipsea which deals with educational issues.

    Bad behaviour :  cd you describe what you mean by this?  It'll help with replies.  She may well not understand that she's being "cheeky".  You need to stop relating to her as a non-autistic child and to do that you need to have a detailed understanding of how autism affects her as an individual.  Discipline can actually make things worse because she won't necessarily grasp what she's "done wrong".  Rewards/bribery can be v effective.  I wd keep things as simple as you can.  If 1 reward chart works, why have more?

    Does she have a regular routine which she can rely on + doesn't aggravate things?  Has she sensitivities relating to things like : certain noises, tastes, touch, smells?  

    Others will be along soon to offer advice.  Good luck with everything