Autism in women - newly diagnosed and feeling like an imposter

I had thought about autism in myself for a long time before I was diagnosed - I picked up a book at work in 2017 called Aspie girls, and thought " oh my god this is me".

Fast forward 6 years, and since then my 11 year old child has been diagnosed, and once we got their diagnosis I made a self-referral to be assessed. At the age of 38 I received my diagnosis at the end of June 2023. I felt blank at first,  and not good at all for the first two weeks or so after the diagnosis. I am a single parent to two children and so have had little time to process it. I feel like an imposter, but that is slowly starting to fade - I have started to read a little more about autism in women and found the videos of women/non-binary people's stories on this website really helpful. I wanted to go to a local support group yesterday but I didn't go - worrying that they wouldn't believe me and that it would be another place I wouldn't fit in.

When Iook back at my childhood, I can see a lot of the signs of autism, although I was masking a lot so it was still probably quite subtle to others. As an adult I feel that I am now the result of  a lot of hard work to be socially acceptable for others. I work as a psychologist and the work and striving for this has burned me out. I am considering leaving but I don't know what else I would do. The day to day intense work with people has never been something I've enjoyed - I often fantasise about being a post person, and even applied for a job at the royal mail recently.

People think I am good socially, and a couple of people have commented that they wouldn't have thought I'd be autistic - this just makes me feel like more of an imposter.

I guess I'm wondering if other women have felt the same,and what your experiences are as an autistic woman - I'm trying to relate to something, and process my diagnosis.

Thanks for reading

Parents
  • Hello Lilpop, your experience post diagnosis is a familiar one here.

    There are one or two books that may fill in some gaps for you and help you feel less of an imposter:

    Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara  (2014)
    ISBN 9781849054331

    Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
    ISBN 0764525476

    The diagnostic process is very reliable and if you scored highly enough to be classified as autistic then I'm certain you are.

    We all have some autistic traits at different intensities and it is this variability within the range that gives rise to the label of "being on the spectrum". Just because you are not like Elon Musk or the character in Rainman does not mean you are not autistc.

  • Hello thanks so much for the recommendations, and the validation - they did say that they don't give the diagnosis 'lightly' and given the amount of self-report and informant report info I provided, they said they felt fairly clear about it before the actual appointment!

Reply
  • Hello thanks so much for the recommendations, and the validation - they did say that they don't give the diagnosis 'lightly' and given the amount of self-report and informant report info I provided, they said they felt fairly clear about it before the actual appointment!

Children
No Data