Autism in women - newly diagnosed and feeling like an imposter

I had thought about autism in myself for a long time before I was diagnosed - I picked up a book at work in 2017 called Aspie girls, and thought " oh my god this is me".

Fast forward 6 years, and since then my 11 year old child has been diagnosed, and once we got their diagnosis I made a self-referral to be assessed. At the age of 38 I received my diagnosis at the end of June 2023. I felt blank at first,  and not good at all for the first two weeks or so after the diagnosis. I am a single parent to two children and so have had little time to process it. I feel like an imposter, but that is slowly starting to fade - I have started to read a little more about autism in women and found the videos of women/non-binary people's stories on this website really helpful. I wanted to go to a local support group yesterday but I didn't go - worrying that they wouldn't believe me and that it would be another place I wouldn't fit in.

When Iook back at my childhood, I can see a lot of the signs of autism, although I was masking a lot so it was still probably quite subtle to others. As an adult I feel that I am now the result of  a lot of hard work to be socially acceptable for others. I work as a psychologist and the work and striving for this has burned me out. I am considering leaving but I don't know what else I would do. The day to day intense work with people has never been something I've enjoyed - I often fantasise about being a post person, and even applied for a job at the royal mail recently.

People think I am good socially, and a couple of people have commented that they wouldn't have thought I'd be autistic - this just makes me feel like more of an imposter.

I guess I'm wondering if other women have felt the same,and what your experiences are as an autistic woman - I'm trying to relate to something, and process my diagnosis.

Thanks for reading

Parents
  • ‘Aspie Girls’ and ‘How to be autistic’ are the primary-reasons for my screening-drive. But weirdly enough I’m a dude.  
    It seemed to me that there were, many aspects of the AspieGirl subject, that could be better named as ‘AgreeableAspie’. Though there are obviously some themes that are sex-specific, I believe that having a middling EQ score, is to blame for a lot of missed-cases of those who are decisively-autistic. 

    But in regards to the second book I mentioned; Charlotte Amelia Poe if you ever read this I know you can’t measure prevention, but it is high-likely that you saved my life by publishing your story..Innocent

Reply
  • ‘Aspie Girls’ and ‘How to be autistic’ are the primary-reasons for my screening-drive. But weirdly enough I’m a dude.  
    It seemed to me that there were, many aspects of the AspieGirl subject, that could be better named as ‘AgreeableAspie’. Though there are obviously some themes that are sex-specific, I believe that having a middling EQ score, is to blame for a lot of missed-cases of those who are decisively-autistic. 

    But in regards to the second book I mentioned; Charlotte Amelia Poe if you ever read this I know you can’t measure prevention, but it is high-likely that you saved my life by publishing your story..Innocent

Children