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i think my adult son is autistic, need help.

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I am a mum to 5 children, the eldest one is 21. He is my son and i think he is autistic. when he was 6, his teacher at school called in the child psychologist and he said that he was borderline aspergers/ autism. they didnt put it into writing, it was just a unformal opinion and nothing was really done about it. As he was growing up he was given help within school but since leaving, no help. when in school he expressed a interest in joing the army. that was when he was 16. we took him to the army careers and he did the barb test which he passed with flying colours and they gave him a list of 80 possible jobs he could do. he failed the interview as he had not research enough about the army. He did a 12 week army prep course which meant we took him to college and he boarded there coming home at weekends, we collected him, it wasnt a close college meaning we were up early just to take him. this course was to get him ready for the army, and raise his confidence. didnt work. Then he did two years at cornwall college doing a public services course for the same reason, and then finally a princes trust course.nothing has worked as whenever he goes for an interview, he has no confidence, dosent make eye contact, and fails miserably. at the moment he is on the dole but helps my husband with his gardening business. Because of the way ben is, my husband gets really stressed as ben dosent listen, gets the wrong tools, breaks things by being heavy handed and its very frustrating. took him to see our gp to hopefully get him assessed but he said throw him out and get him a job. as time goes on things are getting worse. the atmosphere in the house is so tense the other children are being affected too.

 Ben has no friends, has no social life because of this, makes odd noises, the attention span of a gnat, gets frustrated easily and quickly, has no patience. he would rather spend all his time on his phone doing dragon role play then anything else, shows no emotion until you take his phone off him then he breaks down and goes on about his phone. comes out with random things when you try and have a conversation with him. cannot string a sentance together without jumbling his words.

I am at my wits end as my husband keeps saying he cant deal with it and threatens to leave. so not only do i have a house with 5 kids in but a very stressed out husband to deal with too. please help someone.

Parents

  • Hi, I was 15/16 when my mum went abroad and left me and one of my brothers in the care of my father. It was after about a week I answered a call from my brothers school asking someone responsible for my brother to come in and see them. As my dad was at work, I went. I was told by the school nurse and teacher that my brother was different, she thought he may have some form of autism. I always thought he was different as he preferred to spend his time alone in the garden in hisvimaginary world, making weird jerking movements while jumping around. 

    When I told my parents they did nothing about it saying he's fine, just a little slow or he'll grow out of it. It has been almost 10 years since then. He's 18 now amd still very much the same secluded child he was then.

    A week ago he told my mum he thought he had depression and only because my mum has depression she took him to see the doctor for an assessment. The doctor gave him anti depressants. 

    I strongly believe that he is NOT depressed. He has autism but my parents are too deluded to want to understand or research about it. It has been ignored for nearly 10 years and I don't know what to do.

    I can't take him to the doctors because he won't listen to me, he's twice my size and he tends to hide in his room a lot.

    Please help me, what do I do?

Reply

  • Hi, I was 15/16 when my mum went abroad and left me and one of my brothers in the care of my father. It was after about a week I answered a call from my brothers school asking someone responsible for my brother to come in and see them. As my dad was at work, I went. I was told by the school nurse and teacher that my brother was different, she thought he may have some form of autism. I always thought he was different as he preferred to spend his time alone in the garden in hisvimaginary world, making weird jerking movements while jumping around. 

    When I told my parents they did nothing about it saying he's fine, just a little slow or he'll grow out of it. It has been almost 10 years since then. He's 18 now amd still very much the same secluded child he was then.

    A week ago he told my mum he thought he had depression and only because my mum has depression she took him to see the doctor for an assessment. The doctor gave him anti depressants. 

    I strongly believe that he is NOT depressed. He has autism but my parents are too deluded to want to understand or research about it. It has been ignored for nearly 10 years and I don't know what to do.

    I can't take him to the doctors because he won't listen to me, he's twice my size and he tends to hide in his room a lot.

    Please help me, what do I do?

Children
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