He's so .... Weird . An introduction.

Hello everyone .

My name is Philip , I'm 42 years old and after waiting for 3 years I was diagnosed with ASD on the 30h November 2022. I am very surprised with the diagnosis . I've always known there was something 'different' about me but I never imagined it was ASD .

I was my fathers carer for many years and we kind of looked after each other . He knew how to deal with me ,he was always kind , patient and would always explain things in a way I understood but he passed away in 2020 from Cancer.

I have been under the care of the Community Mental Health team who caused me more distress and difficulty. Now I have been discharged because they don't deal with people with ASD and with no services in my area which have all apparently been closed due to lack of funding , I am isolated and alone.

For the most part I thrive and love being alone but since we are social animals it would be nice to be able to relate and connect with other people. I have never had friends , I have no family , the only contact with people I have is with an Ex Neighbour who has been amazing, I can never thank him enough for how he's helped me but he has a family and his own responsibilities, I want to remain as unobtrusive as possible.

I am hesitant to come here because of how I've been treated by people in the past . I was abused by my Mother when I was younger ,bullied, taken advantage of and mocked by people because of my differences. If I had a pound for every time I was called 'weird' I'd be opening an Animal sanctuary to help poorly animals and the entrance would have a statue of a fox with a butterfly on their nose ( I love foxes )

It seems there are more cruel people than there are kind ones and coming here is my last attempt at making some kind of contact with people. I have often spoken with the Samaritans which have made me more self conscious with their comments, I don't think they mean to be . Maybe there should be a free phone service for people with ASD ... I don't know.. I have never actually spoken with people with the condition. I was always under the stereotype of people with ASD being very highly intelligent where as I'm an idiot.

I haven't wrote any of this for Sympathy , don't get me wrong .I unfortunately am too honest for my own good. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my introduction and take care.