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Hello

Inula
over 1 year ago

Introduce yourself they said - so here I am! It took me far too long to decide on a subject but I guess Hello works.

So. Hello! Let me introduce myself. I'm a 62 year old mum and nana and I'm recently self diagnosed. Quite a number of years ago my younger (50 something year old) sister was diagnosed with autism. I remember laughing at that time and saying if she's on the spectrum then I absolutely must be but gave it no more thought.

Fast forward to now.

My adult daughter got her official autism diagnosis within the last year and since then we've spoken at great length about what her autism looks like and how it effects her. Lots of things she described really resonated with me  so when she sent me some links to self tests I took them and was interested and a little bit stunned (but honestly not too surprised at this point) to find that I appear to be autistic too - however - the more I read the more I understand why I am how I am and it's such a relief to have a better level of understanding.

Suddenly - recalling how my father in law would say I could be rather blunt (even after I'd filtered what I was going to say to be less blunt) made sense. My life long struggle to make and keep friends makes sense. I used to think that my lack of empathy regarding some situations must mean that I'm a heinous person but now that makes sense too. 

It's taken me so much courage to join this forum and post this because people I know have recently said to me (when I've explained that I've recently concluded that I'm autistic) 

"Ah but we're all a "little bit autistic" aren't we"? 

And also 

"Nah you're not autistic. You're so friendly and outgoing. Such a people person" 

This has been incredibly unhelpful to me. 

So that's me. I'm on the cusp of believing my self diagnosis is valid and I'm not convinced that an official diagnosis will be worth pursuing but I may change my mind about that one day. 

I expect I will lurk around the forums and not have a deal to say but it is a relief to be able to put my thoughts about who I am here in black and white.

Thank you for reading. 

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Hi Inula. Those invalidating responses from friends/family are so infuriating even if well intended. I only got that from two persons (most others could sll too easily believe it I think!), both of  whom later thought about it and realised it wasn’t the right thing to say. But in the moment it leaves us vulnerable to imposter syndrome, even though  we didn’t reach the conclusion we did (in my case I got formally diagnosed but others  do self-diagnose as you have) for no reason. Anyway, the fact that you’re here (and not just saying the odd ‘we’re all a bit…’ and then not thinking about it again for ages) tells you all you need to know. You need support and recognition that the majority don’t. I hope you find comfort here. 

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    Hi Inula. Those invalidating responses from friends/family are so infuriating even if well intended. I only got that from two persons (most others could sll too easily believe it I think!), both of  whom later thought about it and realised it wasn’t the right thing to say. But in the moment it leaves us vulnerable to imposter syndrome, even though  we didn’t reach the conclusion we did (in my case I got formally diagnosed but others  do self-diagnose as you have) for no reason. Anyway, the fact that you’re here (and not just saying the odd ‘we’re all a bit…’ and then not thinking about it again for ages) tells you all you need to know. You need support and recognition that the majority don’t. I hope you find comfort here. 

Children
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