Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
I’m a recently diagnosed 38 year old female and have been feeling pretty confused since my diagnosis. I’ve always known I was different, so my results were not exactly a surprise but it did make me realise how ignorant I had been about understanding Autism. So, as I’m sure the majority of you also did, I threw myself into intense research and a lot of my life suddenly made sense. But atm I feel like 2 people in 1. There is Asd me who embraces all my traits and then “normal” me who still tries to do “normal “ For example, I will still force on clothes that I hate, because then I’ll fit in or attempt a coversation with a passing dog walker about the weather, which quite frankly does not interest me in the slightest.
Do you know? I just realised whilst typing, I think I’m just struggling to fully unmask.
Did any of you experience this? Is this a normal reaction?
It's two years after my diagnosis and I feel like I'm only beginning to see how I mask let alone work out how to change it, so it looks like you're doing really well!
I’ve still a lot of things to work out. There’s so much info out there and not all is relatable or reliable. I should clarify that the unmasking is an at home situation. I still struggle out of my safe place. Also, I don’t think I masked particularly well as my family haven’t seen much of a change but I certainly feel it.
In terms of relatable information, remember that autism is a spectrum with many different symptoms. Not everyone has all of them, but that doesn't make you less autistic.
Even unmasking at home is good.