Published on 12, July, 2020
I was formally diagnosed some time last year. 46, male. I have been lurking here since then, making the odd post, not quite sure what to do with myself.
I have imposter syndrome as is the way. But trying to solve it is a dead end.
I am somewhat at peace with the diagnosis, or maybe at truce, with a sortof "deal with it later" kind of arrangement, endlessly pushed back.. Thought the diagnosis would bring peace and assistance. Nope.
46, male. 3 degrees, no job, that kind of deal. Massive social phobia. Executive dysfunction. A wheel spinning in the mud. Lots of internalised self criticism.
I am, honestly very lonely, in a prison of sorts that I have always been in. Though there are cracks. Its been sad in my head for most of my life, so I try not to think about it.
I have a girlfriend who is the kindest person I have met, and one friend.
Trying to build a jewellery business. Won't post the link, will seem like spam. That's my focus atm though. Self learning, trying to get as good as I can. Dichotomy of control keeps me on the process, not outcome. Or I try.
I am a person of contrast.
Anyway, that's probably enough for an intro.
I just wanted to say hi
Hi.
Spob.
Hi Spob. A lot of that strikes a chord, thanks for sharing your situation. I got diagnosed at 44 last year so very similar situation, minus one of two big differences. Imposter syndrome is a pain but tends to come in when we’re a bit more cocooned and less disabled by our environment. As soon as we are again, certainty about diagnosis returns. Glad you’ve been finding the community helpful and I think it’s great that you said a belated ‘hello’ so we know you a little better.
Hi Shardovan.
Thank you very much for your reply and welcome.
Yes, indeed, that makes perfect sense re imposter syndrome.. in my head it seems like I should be able to handle everything and "of course I can". It's when I am actually out there experiencing the anxiety and social difficulties, actually feeling the feelings (and the intensity) that I am more certain. I can't adequately model feelings with my mind, it seems!
Thanks again for your welcome :)