work

I had a conversation with my wife about 18 months ago, she sort of blurted out that I had hated every job I had ever had. About the same time I realised I’m autistic. I hadn’t hated every job, I had struggled in every job. I would watch the neurotypicals working and tried to copy them. I can’t work like them, I’m not a team player, I need to be alone. The constant masking was just draining me. I work alone now, I don’t see another person for 8 hours per day. I had a customer ‘drop in’ about 6 months ago, I tried to explain how autism affects me, he said that I was obviously okay with him, I unmasked and told him that I just tolerated him. Never seen him since, happy days!

working alone is more efficient anyway. as soon as you get help the help slows you down or does it all wrong 

I restore classic cars as a living, I get asked why I don’t get more help in?  I’ve tried that, I just end up resenting the person and in the end hating them, it’s not fair on them and it’s too much for me to be near someone all day. My workshop gates are kept locked unless someone has made an appointment. I’m a bit like Willy Wonka, the place looks unused, the completed work just gets put outside when ready for collection. I communicate by email or text, I can’t answer phones which I know sounds strange.

HI Roy, sounds like you've got it all sorted. 

For me answering phone calls is far worse. I cannot stand the interruption and will not be able to get my brain to switch focus.

Also I would not have any idea what to say if I'd not had the opportunity to prepare in advance for a call. When I did used to make phone calls I had to script everything very carefully in advance. However inevitably something wouldn't go to plan and I'd completely lose it. 

I'd rather speak to a machine than a real person 

I dislike phones in general but I find answering phone calls much easier than making phone calls.  I hate leaving messages on voicemail.

Roy said:

I communicate by email or text, I can’t answer phones which I know sounds strange.

It doesn't sound strange at all. That's how I operate too.

What is strange is the expectation from others that you should be willing to drop what you're doing at any unannounced moment to answer the phone 

yeah i hate phone contact too, anyone that knows me knows to not bother ringing and just text instead, anyone that rings me i will ignore the call. stupid anyway voice phones as the microphones on phones have gone so small now you cant hear anyone on them anyway and need to put it on loud speaker to hear them anyway, and thats with good hearing lol modern phones dont have good enough microphones for voice communication.

I know people make fun of me, I’m not bothered. They don’t see the anxiety I get from a phone call, I know there will be questions in a call, it doesn’t give me time to prepare an answer, it’s hard to process it all, a text or email I can read several times and workout what my reply will be.

It doesn't sound strange to me at all, Roy. I can't answer or make phone calls really, unless they're from my mum.

It doesn't sound strange to me at all, Roy. I can't answer or make phone calls really, unless they're from my mum.

I know people make fun of me, I’m not bothered. They don’t see the anxiety I get from a phone call, I know there will be questions in a call, it doesn’t give me time to prepare an answer, it’s hard to process it all, a text or email I can read several times and workout what my reply will be.