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Hello I am a newbie in need of a little support

tuta

Hello everyone, 

I am new to the site, my son is six and has had his diagnosis for nearly 3 years now. Most of the time I can't really share how I feel about this the vast majority of people I know have no experience other than mine and they are quite simplistic and I often feel like I have to underplay things or agree with their distorted view of our day to day life because they act like I am being overly dramatic or pessimistic.  I have to give them a positive view so they can smile and say "well that's alright, he is improving isn't he? He is soooo much better than he was?" and head off on their own lives with a light heart.  The vast majority of the time he is great and deals with the trials in his life much better than he did, I love him and I admire him he is wonderful.  However life is taxing, it is hard, it is complicated and sometimes I need to speak to people who just nod and smile and don't insist that things are better than they are just so they can end the conversation feeling ok in themselves. So I am turning to all of you because I fugure you know how I feel and that I don't feel like this all the time but sometimes I do and you won't all come down on me like a ton of well meaning bricks! Hello!

  • Dear emmacrompton,

    I am sorry to hear about the serious issues you are dealing with. You might find the NAS Autism Helpline of use. The number to call is 0808 800 4104, lines are open Monday to Friday, 10am to 4pm. Further information about the Helpline can be found here: 

    http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/autism-helpline/how-to-contact-us.aspx

    You may also find the Parent to Parent service useful. The number to call is 0808 800 4106. It is not a manned line but you can call any time, leave a message and someone will call you back as soon as possible. Further information about this service can be found here:

    http://www.autism.org.uk/Our-services/Advice-and-information-services/Parent-to-Parent-Service.aspx

    Both numbers are free to call from landlines and most mobiles: 3, O2, Orange, T-mobile, Virgin and Vodafone.

    I hope this helps, please let us know how you are getting on.

    Adél (NAS moderator)

  • hello i have a son of 7 years and i am a single parent he has severe asd and limited speech and quite a lot of sensory difficulties he as been using me as a punchbag since he was 4 years old but now because its 3 years on he is a lot stronger and harder and its beginning to have a severe effect on my health not to mention the bruises all over my arms and legs and the fact he tried strangling me on a train full of people the other week im at my wits end and thinking the only solution at this moment in time is care he does have respite 3 nights a month and all proffessionals involved i just dont know what to do can any1 help me before it gets to the point where he is gonna do something serious to me or vice versa i am scared of him but i also love him he is my world and my only child

  • Hey Tutu

    This a good start to getting support. I am feeling positive since joining today.

    Keep strong. You could speak to ur GP,  he could suggest something to help you, if u are feeling overwhelmed. I take citralopram, it helps me cope with a very busy and demanding life.

    Take care xxx

  • Hi SB and Crystal12 thanks for saying hello and your comments. Crystal12 you are right when you say that a lot of our 'problems' are imposed upon us by others because our children don't fit their view of the world. SB my family are a mixed bag some of them get it and some think they can fix it and some think I am making too much of it and it is not that bad and yet others think that if they ignore it and smile it will all go away. As for support groups well I have a bit of a block about groups and I get nervous around new people it is stressful for me so I guess I haven't sought face to face support (sounds silly even as I am typing this!).  I hope that I can get the reassurance and support I need online as right now I am having a crisis of faith in my own ability to balance the needs of my son with my other two children, my husband, my family and the rest of the world (or so it feels like some days!). 

  • Hi - yes, we understand on here.  Autism can be very difficult to explain to others, even if they do want to learn. I think you can tell almost immediately when someone doesn't understand and/or doesn't want to or feels awkard.  They judge autistic behaviour without understanding it.   There may be a parents' group in your area - check things out via the home page.  There's lots of info on this site and there's always the posts so have a look around if you haven't already.  And yes, your right, things can be taxing at times for our children and ourselves but the more we understand, then the more we can help and move forward.  Sometimes the most taxing things aren't originating with our children but with society and individuals who don't understand.  Just chip in with anything you want to ask (smileys not working yet again!)

  • Hi

    I am also new to the forum. I completely empathise with u. I love my son dearly but he is very taxing. Theres no doubt it can b incredibly hard having a child on the autistic spectrum. Do u have a supportive family? Or any access to support in your community? 

    Best wishes

    SB