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Please Help

Hawthorn
over 11 years ago

Hello

I am 40 years old, married, 2 children (boy and a girl aged 11 and 7).

Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. Although immensley challenging for us as a family, progress is being made, in no small part due to help from the NAS, however mainly from the determination, dedication, and unconditional love shown by my wife to our family.

I had a fairly tough childhood, and although fairly successful in my career, I find many social settings awkward, and I have quite a few I obsessive tendencies, not to mention at times a degree of emotional dis-attachment. I have let my family down by not doing nearly enough in leading from the front on our family's journey with AS, and for that I feel immense guilt. 

All too often, my wife finds it hard coping with me as we'll as our son, and after being together for 16 years I fear our marriage may be over due to this and nothing else.

As you may have probably guessed by now, there is a fair chance that I am higher up the spectrum than earlier thought. I tried to go for a diagnosis a few years ago but got fobbed off. 

I am after anyone (sorry to be sexist, but preferably a bloke) in a similar position to me, and who may be able to advise any coping strategies for me.

Thanks.

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    I visited my GP yesterday and explained to him that I wanted to push for a diagnosis.

    I am so fortunate to have such a genuine, empathetic, and caring GP who clearly is not afraid to think out of the box. He listened to my case (I used some of the tips from here) and explained that I need not say anymore as he could clearly see where i was coming from, and to that end referred me.

    He mentioned that one of his kids has dyslexia, and also that some years ago one of his collegues tried to push for more support for Adult autism diagnosis, but sadly to no avail.

     I have got to travel a couple of hours however someone able to conduct Adult autism diagnosis has been found and a first meeting will hopefully take place soon.

    This is the start of a long journey.

    My confusion and inner fighting with myself has cost me dearly with my family.

    I have been rude and insulting on a number of occasions to my wife and children during meltdowns, and i really want to integrate with them on this journey, and be the loving husband and dad that i know i can be.

    I am so scared it may be too late after 13 years of marriage, but the hope of better times  ahead together is keeping me going.

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    I visited my GP yesterday and explained to him that I wanted to push for a diagnosis.

    I am so fortunate to have such a genuine, empathetic, and caring GP who clearly is not afraid to think out of the box. He listened to my case (I used some of the tips from here) and explained that I need not say anymore as he could clearly see where i was coming from, and to that end referred me.

    He mentioned that one of his kids has dyslexia, and also that some years ago one of his collegues tried to push for more support for Adult autism diagnosis, but sadly to no avail.

     I have got to travel a couple of hours however someone able to conduct Adult autism diagnosis has been found and a first meeting will hopefully take place soon.

    This is the start of a long journey.

    My confusion and inner fighting with myself has cost me dearly with my family.

    I have been rude and insulting on a number of occasions to my wife and children during meltdowns, and i really want to integrate with them on this journey, and be the loving husband and dad that i know i can be.

    I am so scared it may be too late after 13 years of marriage, but the hope of better times  ahead together is keeping me going.

Children
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