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Please Help

Hawthorn
over 11 years ago

Hello

I am 40 years old, married, 2 children (boy and a girl aged 11 and 7).

Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. Although immensley challenging for us as a family, progress is being made, in no small part due to help from the NAS, however mainly from the determination, dedication, and unconditional love shown by my wife to our family.

I had a fairly tough childhood, and although fairly successful in my career, I find many social settings awkward, and I have quite a few I obsessive tendencies, not to mention at times a degree of emotional dis-attachment. I have let my family down by not doing nearly enough in leading from the front on our family's journey with AS, and for that I feel immense guilt. 

All too often, my wife finds it hard coping with me as we'll as our son, and after being together for 16 years I fear our marriage may be over due to this and nothing else.

As you may have probably guessed by now, there is a fair chance that I am higher up the spectrum than earlier thought. I tried to go for a diagnosis a few years ago but got fobbed off. 

I am after anyone (sorry to be sexist, but preferably a bloke) in a similar position to me, and who may be able to advise any coping strategies for me.

Thanks.

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    Many thanks to you all for replying - it is good to know there is support out there.

    The fact is, i have hidden from the truth about my condition for too long. I am very lucky in the fact that my wife has an immense knowledge of the subject (in my opinion beyond many so called specialists), however it is wrong for me to expect her to carry me on rhis journey - it is something i have to do my self, starting with my GP appointment on Friday this week.

    I have been a pain to live with, and this has in many ways been down to my refusal to search out help.

    I am taking control of various negative influences in my life (awkward parents being a good example) and i am going to make this journey happen whatever, and be open and honest about it to my family who have suffered enough already.

    My wife and children are my biggest motivators in all of this, as i have learned that me coping will make all our lives happier and stronger together as a family unit, and this means the world to me.

    I am at the beginning, but will keep you posted.

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    Many thanks to you all for replying - it is good to know there is support out there.

    The fact is, i have hidden from the truth about my condition for too long. I am very lucky in the fact that my wife has an immense knowledge of the subject (in my opinion beyond many so called specialists), however it is wrong for me to expect her to carry me on rhis journey - it is something i have to do my self, starting with my GP appointment on Friday this week.

    I have been a pain to live with, and this has in many ways been down to my refusal to search out help.

    I am taking control of various negative influences in my life (awkward parents being a good example) and i am going to make this journey happen whatever, and be open and honest about it to my family who have suffered enough already.

    My wife and children are my biggest motivators in all of this, as i have learned that me coping will make all our lives happier and stronger together as a family unit, and this means the world to me.

    I am at the beginning, but will keep you posted.

Children
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