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Please Help

Hawthorn
over 11 years ago

Hello

I am 40 years old, married, 2 children (boy and a girl aged 11 and 7).

Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. Although immensley challenging for us as a family, progress is being made, in no small part due to help from the NAS, however mainly from the determination, dedication, and unconditional love shown by my wife to our family.

I had a fairly tough childhood, and although fairly successful in my career, I find many social settings awkward, and I have quite a few I obsessive tendencies, not to mention at times a degree of emotional dis-attachment. I have let my family down by not doing nearly enough in leading from the front on our family's journey with AS, and for that I feel immense guilt. 

All too often, my wife finds it hard coping with me as we'll as our son, and after being together for 16 years I fear our marriage may be over due to this and nothing else.

As you may have probably guessed by now, there is a fair chance that I am higher up the spectrum than earlier thought. I tried to go for a diagnosis a few years ago but got fobbed off. 

I am after anyone (sorry to be sexist, but preferably a bloke) in a similar position to me, and who may be able to advise any coping strategies for me.

Thanks.

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    Hi Hawthorn,

    quote"Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. ".. my son got diagnosed with ASD first, due to the high genetic factors, it was meant I was too later on.

    If you are on the same spectrum as your son, your wife will be able to relate to your difficulties too, let her know you are seeking a referral also, try and communicate with her, even if it is in a card/letter.  

    You have a lot of background still to come out, secondary issues if you are ASD.

    I don't know how loving and support your wife is, but you should try and get on the same page with her for the sake of your children. How about a holiday. Plan a mum/dad night every week. Try and communicate better, try and be positive for the future.

    Just be honest with her,  Aspies normal are. You may also be suffering from a bit of Depression.  

    Good luck

     

     

     

     

     

     

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    Hi Hawthorn,

    quote"Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. ".. my son got diagnosed with ASD first, due to the high genetic factors, it was meant I was too later on.

    If you are on the same spectrum as your son, your wife will be able to relate to your difficulties too, let her know you are seeking a referral also, try and communicate with her, even if it is in a card/letter.  

    You have a lot of background still to come out, secondary issues if you are ASD.

    I don't know how loving and support your wife is, but you should try and get on the same page with her for the sake of your children. How about a holiday. Plan a mum/dad night every week. Try and communicate better, try and be positive for the future.

    Just be honest with her,  Aspies normal are. You may also be suffering from a bit of Depression.  

    Good luck

     

     

     

     

     

     

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