Please Help

Hello

I am 40 years old, married, 2 children (boy and a girl aged 11 and 7).

Our son has a formal diagnosis of high functioning ASD. Although immensley challenging for us as a family, progress is being made, in no small part due to help from the NAS, however mainly from the determination, dedication, and unconditional love shown by my wife to our family.

I had a fairly tough childhood, and although fairly successful in my career, I find many social settings awkward, and I have quite a few I obsessive tendencies, not to mention at times a degree of emotional dis-attachment. I have let my family down by not doing nearly enough in leading from the front on our family's journey with AS, and for that I feel immense guilt. 

All too often, my wife finds it hard coping with me as we'll as our son, and after being together for 16 years I fear our marriage may be over due to this and nothing else.

As you may have probably guessed by now, there is a fair chance that I am higher up the spectrum than earlier thought. I tried to go for a diagnosis a few years ago but got fobbed off. 

I am after anyone (sorry to be sexist, but preferably a bloke) in a similar position to me, and who may be able to advise any coping strategies for me.

Thanks.